Father as a Caregiver: The Thipology of Father Parenting Style
While Mother doesn’t Exist and the Effect to Child Autonomy
Wilodati Wilodati, Siti Komariah and Puspita Wulandari
Universitas Pendidikan Indonesia, Bandung, Indonesia
Keywords: Child Character, Family, Independence, Typology of Father Parenting.
Abstract: Parenting is one of the obligations of parents in an attempt to build the character of the child. In General, the
process of caregiving was conducted simultaneously by both parents. However, it is not the case that occurred
in an environment of family Labor Women, where the mother worked as a foreign worker in the foreign
country in a particular period of time. During the work, automatically switch childcare responsibilities to the
father, who is also still a breadwinner for his family. Independence is defined as a person's ability to regulate
itself and not depend on others, is an important character values must be habituated in the child in the family
environment. The purpose of this research is to gain an overview of typology of parenting done by the father
in the family environment of labor women, and its effects on the independence of the child. In order to reveal
the social phenomenon in depth in a field, then used a qualitative approach. Father; their children; as well as
the relatives involved in child care in the family environment act as participants. Data collection techniques,
through observation, interview, and literature study. Data analysis include data reduction, data display, and
conclusion. Triangulation of data sources, which is one component of the credibility test data in qualitative
research, also conducted in this study. The results showed, the typology of parenting tend to be used father in
educating children character is permissive. Furthermore, this type of parenting a different father would
produce a level of independence of children differently.
1 INTRODUCTION
Parenting to the child, an obligation which should be
exercised by both parents jointly. The process of
nurturing a child in the family environment, is
generally a lot more done by mothers. However not
the case in family Labor Women, where the mother
worked as a labor abroad in a certain period of time.
Automatically, the responsibility of parenting over
the mother wasn't home switched entirely to the
father. A number of problems arise, among other
things, about the extent of the ability of fathers in
parenting for mothers working; and can the father
foster self-reliance in his children without the
presence of the mother.
The patterns of parenting as a social reality are
inevitable in the life of a child, is an important thing
that can be assessed from the point of view of the
position of the family as the basis of the child's
personality, as well as the role of parents, which in
turn is closely related to the cultivation of character
in children is one of them about independence. When
the mother's position was not at home for a certain
period of time, the independence of a child is deemed
necessary to be cultivated, so that he is not too hung
all the affairs of his life to his father, who acts as a
single parent for a while. How far the father is able to
apply upbringing can develop the child's
independence, especially during the mother was not
at home is interesting to study. The background to a
married woman and work in low socio-economic
status is a "necessity", because ease the burden on
households, in which case income families
(husbands) are not sufficient. (Reynolds, 2000),
(Wilodati, 2016).
Based on survey data, that the livelihoods of the
majority of fathers in the research area is erratic,
sometimes as construction laborers, or children's toy
merchant. Weak economic conditions, makes the
mother ultimately chose to work as a labor abroad.
The employment contract for two years, and
thereafter can be rolled back, the mother could not
carry out a number of important roles in the family
environment in the period, mainly as a nanny and
builder noble character in their children. parenting
process and cultivation noble character values in them
182
Wilodati, W., Komariah, S. and Wulandari, P.
Father as a Caregiver: The Thipology of Father Parenting Style While Mother doesn’t Exist and the Effect to Child Autonomy.
In Proceedings of the 2nd International Conference on Sociology Education (ICSE 2017) - Volume 2, pages 182-188
ISBN: 978-989-758-316-2
Copyright © 2018 by SCITEPRESS – Science and Technology Publications, Lda. All rights reserved

should not be halted due to mothers working abroad,
especially the value of an independent character,
which is defined as "an attitude and behavior that is
not easily dependent on others to complete tasks"
(Pusat Kurikulum Departemen Pendidikan Nasional,
2010).
Self-reliance is indispensable owned by everyone,
most of all children in the family environment of
women workers. The absence of their mother in a
certain period of time, requiring them to behave
independently in order to alleviate the role of father
to be responsible for their care, at least not
independent in performing daily necessities, so the
ability of fathers in nurturing the child's independence
in the family environment of women workers is very
important.
2 THEORITICAL FRAMEWORK
Parenting is a conscious guidance by educators
against physical and spiritual development of the
students towards the establishment of a major
personality (Yatim and Irwanto, 1991, p. 94;
Wilodati, 2016a, p.11). parenting is also a 'pattern of
interaction between children and parents that includes
physical needs, (such as eating and drinking) and
psychological needs such as security and affection),
and dissemination of the norms prevailing in the
community so that children can live in harmony with
the environment. ' Zubaedi (2011, p. 158) (2016a.
Hlm.11-12) Parenting is a process that shows the
occurrence of a parent-child interaction between
sustainable and the process providing a change on
both sides ", stated Brooks (Prasetyawati, Silalahi and
Meinarno 2010,162); (Wilodati,2016)]. Isabel
Martinez and Jose Fernando Garcia (2007, hlm.731)
states, "Parenting is one of the most relevant
perspectives in the study of relationships between
parents and children" (Wilodati et.al., 2016 hlm.223).
Parenting, generally done with type/style vary.
Where each of these parenting have characteristics
that are different from each other. There are three
styles of parenting Baumrind Diane pioneers in
research, (Papalia et al. 2008) (Wilodati. 2016),
namely: The authoritarian parents regard the
importance of control and obedience without
conditions. They try to make their children adapting
themselves to the sets of behavioral standards and
they will ground the children violently for any
violation that they have done. Their children tend to
be unsatisfied, to be self-drawing and to not trust the
other people. The permissive parents appreciate the
self-expression and the self regulation. They consult
the children about the decisions of their policies and
they rarely ground their children. They are warm to
the children, they do not control the children and they
do not demand the children. The pre-school children
tend to be childish – they lack of self-control and
exploration. The authoritative parents appreciate the
children’s individuality but they also emphasize the
social limitations. They have self-confidence on their
ability in guiding the children but they also respect
the children’s independent decision, association,
opinion and personality. Their children seem to be
secured when they find that they have been loved and
have been guided warmly. The pre-school children
with authoritative parents tend to be independent,
controlled, assertive, exploratory and contained.
Meanwhile, Bjorkkenk & Bjorkkend; and the
Crocks & Stein elaborated the classification of
parenting style as listed in the following table:
Tabel 1: Authoritarian, Permissive and Authoritative
Parenting Style
Type
Parental Behavior
Child Character
Authori
tarian
Permiss
ive
Authori
tative
Strict control and a
critical assessment
of the child's
behavior; little
dialogue (giving
and receiving)
verbally, as well as
less warm and less
emotionally
intertwined
Less
controlling; Less
demanding; slightl
y apply penalties or
power; the use of
reason; warm and
receive
Control; demandin
g; warm;
responsive; rational
; dialogue (giving
and receiving)
verbally; and
appreciate the
discipline,
confidence and
uniqueness
Withdrawn and
distrustful of
others
Lacking in self
control, and a
tendency to
explore
independently; soc
ially
responsible; self-
control,
explorative, and
confident
(Bjorkkenk & Bjorkkend;C rocks & Stein in
Wilodati, 2003, 2016).
Father as a Caregiver: The Thipology of Father Parenting Style While Mother doesn’t Exist and the Effect to Child Autonomy
183

The impact of "parentyng styles" according to
[Baumrind (Joseph LN, 2011. pp. 52); (Wilodati,
2016a. pp. 18)] namely, ' (1) teenagers whose parents
behaved "authoritarian" tend to be hostile and
rebellious; (2) teens whose parents "permissive", tend
to behave freely (no control); and (3) a teenager
whose parents are "authoritative", tend to avoid the
anxiety, turmoil or naughty behaviour '. In further
detail appears in the table as follows:
Tabel 2: The Influence Of "Parenting Style" On The Child Behavior.
PARENTING
STYLES
ATTITUDE OF PARENTS
CHILD ATTITUDE PROFILE
1.Authoritarian
1. 'acceptance' is low,
but high control
2. Like to punish physically
3. Be commanding
(require / govern child to do something without
compromise)
4. Be rigid (hard)
5. Tend to emotional and
being refused
1. Irritability
2. Scared
3. moody, unhappy
4. Easily influenced
5. Not having a clear future direction
6.Unfriendly
2. Permissive
1. 'acceptance' high, but low control
2. Giving freedom to children to express urge /
desire
1. impulsive and aggressive
2. rebel
3. Lack of self-confidence and self-control
4. dominating
5. The way of life is not clear
6. low achievement
3. Authoritative
1. 'acceptance' and control
2. Be responsive to children's needs
3. Encourage children to express opinions or
questions
4. Provide an explanation of the impact of the
good deed and the bad.
1. friendly
2. Have confidence
3. Being able to control themselves (self
control)
4. Be courteous
5. Wants cooperation
6. Having a high curiosity
7. Has the purpose / life clear direction
8. Oriented towards achievement
Source : Yusuf (2011, hlm. 51-52); Wilodati (2016a, hlm. 17-18)
Parenting is conducted will affect the child's
independence. Havighurst (in Mu'tadin, 2002: 2)
states that the independence of a person includes
aspects of emotional, economic, intellectual and
social. Brawer in Toha (1993: 121), independence is
a sense of autonomy, so understanding the behavior
of self is a confidence in yourself, and the feeling of
autonomy is defined as behavior that is contained in
a person arising from the strength and encouragement
from someone that arise because power the inner urge
is not influenced by others. Steinberg (Patriana, 2007:
20) explains the self-reliance is the ability of
individuals to behave himself and autonomy of
adolescents can be seen with adolescent attitude right
based on the principle of self so as to behave as he
wishes, make their own decisions, and unable to
account for his behavior , Independence of teenagers
reinforced through the process of socialization among
adolescents with peers.
3 METHODS
The method used in this research is a case study with
a qualitative approach. The case studies from which
to understand the processes that take place, which will
remain hidden if it is only done through surveys.
Participants of this study is the family maid
village of Andir District of Baleendah Bandung
regency, both classified as a nuclear family or
extended family, with a child, where his mother
worked as a maid (Labor Women) in Saudi Arabia
and Hong Kong, and was still there at the time this
study took place, while the father still act as
breadwinners for their families as well. Study
participants consisted of:
1. The husband, whose wife became Labor
Women in Saudi Arabia, along with their
children.
ICSE 2017 - 2nd International Conference on Sociology Education
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2. The relatives of the migrant workers in a family
environment.
3. The head of the village, village officials, and
stakeholders located in the area of
Data collection technique used through
observation, interview and documentation study.
Analysis of qualitative data used consisted of three
grooves activities going on simultaneously: data
reduction, data presentation, drawing conclusions /
verification (Miles and Huberman, 2007, p. 20).
4 RESULT AND DISCUSSION
Based on the results of interviews conducted for the
study participants, most of them using a type of
permissive parenting. Permissive attitudes, according
to Diana Baumrind (1966) in Bigner (1979), basic
types of parenting gives freedom to the child in
behaving. Parents do not give a penalty and receive
and approve what is the will and desire child so that
the child left to regulate and determine for themselves
what he thinks is right for the supervision of parents
loose. Rules and restrictions which would in this case
does not exist.
At permissive parenting, parents when
communicating, transacting or interacting with
children, always giving freedom to children, less
demanding responsibilities, neglecting, very weak in
implementing disciplined and less resolute in
implementing the regulations. Such behavior by
parents, Santrock (2009), Gordon (2000), making the
child's personality does not develop well, including
inhibiting the child's independence.
Based on the results of interviews conducted, the
independence of migrant children can be seen in
terms of children's daily activities in the form of self-
reliance as follows:
1. The ability of children in clothes.
At the age of child, independence is seen when
a child can do and finish the job herself without
asking or expecting help from parents or others
in the vicinity. For adult’s dress is an easy job to
do. but it is different with children. For children
dress is a tough job. Such as buttoning clothes,
wear socks, folding clothes and so on. With
growing independence in the child, then the
child will feel more confident in doing the next
job, but it can foster strong self-esteem.
2. The ability of children to perform activities of
eating.
At the time of the child to be independent in
terms of eating, the child will do the meal itself
by taking cutlery and the food itself without
being fed or serviced by parents, children are
also sometimes already knowing when to eat
without waiting for orders from the parents.
3. The ability of children to take care of themselves
when defecate
Independence in children can also be seen when
the child is able to take care of itself when
defecating or small. But this ability does not
occur suddenly or spontaneously. To be able to
do it yourself or skilled required an exercise
gradually and patiently by parents, exercise can
be done by parents are toilet training. This
exercise is not coercive, can be done in a way
when a child asks delivered, so children easily
do on their own without the help and guidance
from parents or others, so that the child will be
able to do themselves.
4. Ability or dare go myself
Children migrant families dare to go alone,
whether it is to go to school and go to the
playground. Usually they require to maintain or
protect her friend. In this case the parents give
an exercise in children so that children were able
to go it alone, parents need to relieve worry and
anxiety in the child go and instill confidence in
children when the children go alone without the
company of a parent. This indicates that the
child has been able and independent when it had
to go alone without the other.
5. Cleanliness
Instilling self-reliance in children can be done
through cleanliness. This can be done in terms
of cleaning the children themselves, like
brushing their own teeth, washing hands before
and after eating alone, taking out the trash at his
own place, defecate and small bathroom on the
toilet then clean itself. In the hygiene teach
parents not be authoritarian but be gentle,
providing a direct example and always remind
the child. In addition, parents need to provide
opportunities for children to repeat activities
until it can be and do the exercises with a nice
atmosphere.
6. Order
Forms child's independence can be done
through the order. This can be seen when the
child can return to his spot and picking up toys
that have been used. Both of these activities, in
addition to train independence can also train
children to be responsible
7. Ownership
Forms in possession of the child's independence
can be seen when kids respect the property of
others, where the child to know the identity of
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185

the goods. Kids should know there's belongings
brother, sister or parent and others around the
child who can not use the child as he wishes.
Child can borrow stuff, but it should be on the
owner's permission. In this case the child will
learn the importance of sharing. However, in
addition to the child learn to share child must
also know where items may be shared.
8. Patience
Forms child's independence in patience can be
seen when the child patiently wait their turn, like
when to borrow toys from friends and line up
before entering the classroom. In addition,
children can begin to refrain from force and
requires parents to fulfill his desire immediately.
9. Ability to make decisions.
Decisions taken children in various ways, for
example, to take food, choosing his own clothes,
and put on his own shoes. It is part of the child's
independence.
10. Have confidence in doing his work.
The ability of children is closely associated with
the concept of self. A child who is capable of
doing the task itself certainly has a strong self-
confidence. For example, children are able to tie
his own shoe laces that although it is done with
a long time.
11. Responsible for what he did.
Independence of a child can be seen and
responsibilities that children have towards what
children do for example, children settle back
toys that have been used in its place. Children
are able to organize their own lives and the
child, for example: eat, go to the bathroom,
wash, clean up, and put his own clothes.
Children can implement the ideas of their own
children and determine the direction of the
game. Children can take care of things in the
house and is responsible for a number of
domestic jobs, regulate how fun and
entertaining themselves in a groove that is
allowed, and manage their own pocket money.
Children can organize themselves outside the
home, for example in school, completing
homework, prepare all the needs of social life
outside the home. Children are able to take care
of other people, both inside the home and
outside the home, for example, look after
younger siblings when parents are working on
something else. Kids can perform all activities
on its own although it remains under the
supervision of an adult. Kids can make choices
and decisions in accordance with the views, the
views itself obtain it from seeing the behavior or
actions of people in the vicinity. Children are
able to socialize with others without the need to
accompany their parents. Children can control
his emotions even be able to empathize with
others.
Thoha (Winarsih 2010: 21) states that the factors
affecting the independence of the child one of them is
parenting parents. Parents are the neighborhood
closest to the child, the person becomes an example
or a figure for children. Self-reliance is not the
abilities that a child from birth, but rather the result of
the learning process. Basri (2000: 53) states that
independence is the result of education. Kartawijaya
and Kuswanto (2000: 1) argues that the independence
of the child should be nurtured since infancy with
consistent discipline that can develop independence
held intact. Briefly said that independence is the result
of the learning process. As a result of learning,
independence in a person can not be separated from
heredity and environmental factors.
Ali and Asrori (2004: 118) states the development
of self-reliance is also influenced by environmental
stimuli other than by the potential that has been
owned since birth as the offspring of parents. Self-
reliance is formed by the interaction between heredity
and environment. Self-reliance can thrive when given
the opportunity to develop the innate potential
through constant practice and done early. The
learning process begins from the immediate
environment that is family, and the experience gained
from various environments outside the home. If the
environment supports the growth of independence in
childhood and adolescence will develop it on
standalone personal intact form in adulthood. And if
the contrary teenagers grow into a always depend on
other people, always hesitant in taking decisions and
even did not dare to take the responsibility
themselves. Self-reliance is growing in every period
of development with age and increase capability.
As a result of the attainment of independence and
learning process is influenced by many factors,
generally can be classified into two groups: internal
and external factors. Internal factors include
everything that brought children from birth which is
a basic provision for the child's development further
include talent, intellectual potential and the growth
potential of the body. The external factor is all the
circumstances or the influence that comes from
outside himself, often referred to as environmental
factors (Basri, 2000: 53-54).
Factors that affect the attainment of independence
in addition to physiological factors and psychological
condition, as well as the pattern of the Foster Parents
in the family. Family environment plays an important
ICSE 2017 - 2nd International Conference on Sociology Education
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role in the cultivation of values in itself a teenager,
including the value of independence. Planting the
value of independence could not be separated from
the role of parents and care provided to the child's
parents. When a child since childhood been trained to
be independent so when he had to get out of the care
of their parents to live independently, he will not find
it difficult (Prawironoto, 1994: 59-74). Family
influences on adolescent independence associated
with the role of parents. In this case the father and
mother have a real role as stated Partowisasto (1983:
96-97) the following: If for compassion and a sense
of worried of mother does not dare let go of her for
stand-alone make the child must always be helped,
too tied to the mother as spoiled, unable to adapt and
character development leads to indecision. Father
harsh attitude makes children lose confidence while
the indulgence of a father make children less courage
to face the public. Care provided parents also helped
establish the independence of a person. Tolerance is
excessive, excessive maintenance and parents who
are too loud to children hinder the achievement of
independence (Prasetyo & Sutoyo, 1989: 61-67).
While Alwisol (2004: 105-106) states that the
excessive indulgence and neglect of parents of
children resulted in delays in the child's
independence.
5 CONCLUSSION
Typology of parenting used father to be a participant
of this study is permissive. Fathers tend to be more
dependent parenting their children to the grandmother
(the mother of the father), so that the child's
independence can not be nurtured to the fullest.
However, there were also a number of aspects of the
independence of the fathers to their children, which
include emotional independence; independence of
behavior; and self-value. The application of the
different typologies of parenting, will result in
maturity and independence of children's personality
is different. Application of authoritative parenting
style tends more to encourage children to become
mature and independent individual, when compared
with the application of permissive parenting, which
tend to be let anything done by children.
Given the process of nurturing a child is a
responsibility that should be done by parents, should
be in the condition of the mother's absence
notwithstanding, fathers are expected to maximize the
function of his role as a nanny. Help grandmother or
other relatives in the process of care for children in
migrant families is okay to do. But it should be the
responsibility of parenting remain in the hands of her
father.
Authoritative parenting style typology, expected to be
chosen to be applied when the father caring for his
children. Where the father recognizes the existence of
his son; freedom in parenting, but still with certain
limitations; children value the opinions and decisions.
So that the values of noble character, in particular the
independence will be internalized in the child, so that
they can be self-sufficient and not just hang his affairs
to his father and grandmother or other relatives who
are involved in the care of children in a family of
migrant workers, as long as the mother was not at
home.
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