Attracting Mother’s Attention Through Masturbation: A Case Study
of Masturbation in 12-Year-Old Boy
Imam Sunardi, Dedi Sulaeman, Ambar Sulianti, Lilis Aisyah and Sulasman Sulasman
UIN Sunan Gunung Djati Bandung, Jl. A. H. Nasution 10, Bandung, Indonesia
Keywords: Masturbation, Attraction, Attention, Teenager.
Abstract: In accordance with their development, teenagers begin to have shame feeling, interest in the opposite sex, and
start experimenting with the body like masturbation. It is out of the ordinary when a teenager masturbates in
an open space. This study aims to determine the reason why a teenager did not hesitate to choose open
masturbation to attract his mother’s attention. This study used qualitative method on a 12-year-old teenager
who masturbated in front of his mother to get her attention. Acting as significant other were his mother, his
father, his brother, his friends, brother’s friend, and his teacher. Using in-depth interviews with a case study
approach, this study found that electronic media, subject’s friends, his brother’s friends, and the sexual
intercourse of subject’s parent, intervened the subject behavior. Communication and sex education should be
provided wisely to teenager so that he can select worth seeing electronic media. Parents should have privacy
time and space so their children may only be allowed to enter parent’s room after requesting permission.
1 INTRODUCTION
Sex is a topic that has long been considered taboo to
be discussed by both adolescents and adults in
Indonesia. Teenagers have a high curiosity about
sexual problems because adolescents are in active
sexual potency related to the sex drive that is affected
by the increase in hormones in the body. But often
teenagers do not have enough information about their
own sexual activity. Mistakes in obtaining sex
education in adolescents can have a negative impact
on adolescent behavior.
According to WHO, adolescence is a population
with a 10-19 year of age period, whereas according to
the Ministry of Health of the Republic of Indonesia,
the definition of adolescence can be viewed from
several points of view. Chronologically, adolescents
are individuals aged 10-19 years. In physical terms,
the adolescent period is characterized by a change in
appearance characteristics and physiological
functions, especially those related to reproductive
organs, whereas from the psychological side,
adolescence is a time when individuals experience
changes in cognitive, emotional, social and moral
aspects, childhood to maturity (Lawrence et al.,
2015).
The adolescent period occurs at the age of 12-14
years. Various studies on sexual behavior
abnormalities are widely reported beginning to occur
in early adolescence (Marcell et al., 2011).
Sexuality, as defined by the World Health
Organization in 2002, is a central aspect of human life
and includes gender, gender identity and role, sexual
orientation, intimacy and reproduction (World Health
Organization, 2006).
In early adolescence children are exposed to rapid
body changes, accelerated growth, and changes in
body composition accompanied by early secondary
sex growth. In the early teenage phase, they are only
interested in the present state, not the future, while
sexually begins to embarrassment, interest in the
opposite sex but still play in groups and start
experimenting with the body like masturbation. Later
in the early adolescence period, children also began
experimenting with cigarettes, alcohol, or drugs. The
role of peer groups is very dominant, they try to form
groups, behave the same, look the same, have the
same language and code or cues.
Normal teenagers have a sense of shame and
privacy to show their genitals in front of women.
Sexual abnormalities reported in adolescent boys
aged 10-14 years are usually associated with un-
schooled adolescents, teenagers who earn a living,
living with non-biological parents and adolescents
Sunardi, I., Sulaeman, D., Sulianti, A., Aisyah, L. and Sulasman, S.
Attracting Mother’s Attention Through Masturbation: A Case Study of Masturbation in 12-Year-Old Boy.
In Proceedings of the 2nd International Conference on Sociology Education (ICSE 2017) - Volume 2, pages 223-228
ISBN: 978-989-758-316-2
Copyright © 2018 by SCITEPRESS – Science and Technology Publications, Lda. All rights reserved
223

with divorced parents (World Health Organization,
2010).
In contrast to the reported studies, we received
reports from several witnesses in Sukabumi who
pointed to a 12-year-old teenager without being
ashamed to show the process of masturbation in front
of his mother. If left unchecked, disorders associated
with mental health in adolescence will have an impact
on mental disorders in adulthood (Department of
Maternal Newborn Child and Adolescent Health,
2012). Achieving physical, emotional, mental and
social well-being is closely related to sexuality. In
certain situations, sexual health dominates
reproductive health (World Health Organization,).
Therefore, this case is a very apprehensive case as
well as interesting to investigate. Based on this
background, this study explains why a teenager
masturbates in front of his mother.
2 METHODS
This research is qualitative research. The purpose of
this study is to achieve an in-depth understanding of
the specific events that underlie why subjects choose
to masturbate in the open to attract the attention of his
mother. The data source of this research is the subject
of research, his parents, friends, brother, and teachers.
Data were collected through observation,
interview recording, field notes, documentation, and
secondary data. Interviews in this study were used as
the main tool of search data after the researchers
themselves acted as an instrument. Understanding of
the phenomenon through the subject's point of view
can only be done by expressing the self-acceptance of
the subject through the understanding of the frame of
thinking and acting the subject. Thus, researchers try
to enter into the conceptual world of subjects
examined.
The data analysis of the research results was done
in three parts:
 Reduction to get relevant materials from the
data;
 describing the relevant materials;
 getting and describing the main points from the
data.
The data analysis was based on the Empirical
phenomenological psychological (EPP) method.
3 RESULTS AND DISCUSSION
3.1 Results
3.1.1 The Characteristics of the Respondent
The subject is a 12-year-old teenager, named MRA.
It has a height of about 150 cm and weighs about 38
kg. His physical characteristics were thin but his arms
were muscular. During the interview process, MRA's
speech style went smoothly. The MRA only answers
when asked, using Indonesian and occasionally using
the term Sundanese. In answering the question, he
looks polite. MRA is the second of three children. He
was four years younger than his older brother, and
five years older than his younger brother. MRA was
born and raised in the house he now occupies. Since
one year ago, the subject's parents installed Wi-Fi at
home to help children, especially their siblings in
doing schoolwork. His residence is often used as a
gathering place for his brother's friends to do the
work. MRA just graduated from elementary school
and is now accepted in junior high school. he has a
hobby of playing futsal with his friends.
3.1.2 Anamnesis
3.1.2.1 Mother’s Attitude
The mother loved her three sons. According to his
mother there is no favoritism among the three
children. The mother's attention to the youngest is
currently larger because she needs more attention.
When MRA masturbates in front of his mother, his
mother is surprised, but try to understand that the age
of the MRA at that time was 11 years old and is high
level of curiosity. The mother asks the reason why he
did so, from which he knows how to do so.
MRA did it so that her mother would not give his
younger brother more attention. Mother's attitude
scolds and explains that she does not distinguish the
affection to her three children. To the MRA, the
mother said that once when the MRA was 5 years old,
he got bigger attention from his brother. When his
mother heard that MRA knew how to masturbate
from the internet media, the attitude of the mother
worried and mother forbade MRA open porn sites on
the internet. To teach reproductive lessons to MRAs,
mothers volunteered to show their genital organs and
compare them to MRA's, but the MRA refused to be
embarrassed and said they would not open any more
pornographic sites.
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3.1.2.2 Father’s Attitude
His father educated his three children by giving a
religious foundation. Since the age of 6 years, MRA
and his brother are required to attend religious class
near his house for six days a week in the afternoon.
MRA is still following the study until now while his
brother followed the study until the age of 12 years.
At home, MRA's father provides electronic
devices such as computers, tablets and mobile
phones. His father also provides internet connection
so that the subject's siblings are easy to do the task at
school. His father's attitude when he received a report
from MRA's mother was very surprised and limited
the freedom to access the internet. The internet is only
accessible 3 hours a day. His father hopes that with
time restrictions, the internet is only used for tasks.
Originally the computer was stored in MRA's
brother's room but is now moved into the living room
to be more easily monitored.
3.1.2.3 Brother’s Attitude
Her brother's attitude in his daily life was as polite as
other children of his age. He loves his two siblings but
is busy with school affairs. He often takes his friends
home to do group work. One of his friends once told
MRA ways to open the internet and access
pornographic images from the internet. He then let his
friend do that but told his friend not to do it again to
his brother.
3.1.2.4 The Subject’s Attitude
MRA in everyday life is a quiet and polite teenager.
MRA has a younger brother who is five years younger
than him. Since the beginning of his younger
brother’s presence, MRA felt the attention of his
parents was more to his brother. He often showed
jealousy towards his younger brother. MRA is
sometimes angry at his mother when the MRA feels
his mother is paying too much attention to his
younger brother. MRA's anger varies from silence to
not answering her mother's questions, hitting a table
or door, shouting to his mother or going outdoors to
hang out with his friends. But after his anger subsided
MRA was as polite as a child to his mother.
3.1.3 Findings of Research Results
Associated with the Theories
3.1.3.1 Hormonal Changes That Increase Sexual
Desire of Adolescents
Based on observations and interview results, MRA
has undergone a hormonal change. During puberty,
there is a change and physical development in the
body of a boy becomes more like an adult male body.
Puberty causes many physical and emotional changes
in every boy's body. Although boys generally start
pubescent at age 9-14 years and changes in puberty
follow a pattern, and each boy has his own
developmental stage.
MRA claimed to feel the enlargement of his
genitals. MRA is aware of hair growth in places that
previously had only thin hair, little hair, or no hair at
all. These locations include the armpit, genitals, arms,
legs, chest. MRA has not experienced the growth of
the mustache and the thickening of hair on the arms
and legs. MRA has felt the disruption to body odor so
that MRA has been using deodorant. Hormones affect
the sweat glands, which result in a bit more sweating
and have a distinct odor. MRA feels more easily
sweaty and occasionally appears small pimples. MRA
has had wet dreams at the age of 11. But when asked
MRA answer forgot what dream to find sleeping
pants or panties are wet when awakened.
MRA has undergone a change of voice. MRA
became quieter because the sound was heavier and
the MRA was embarrassed. The MRA also feels an
enlargement on the Adam's apple and the muscular
shape of the arm. The voice changes because of the
increase in the hormone testosterone (male hormone)
in the body. This makes the tone of voice thicker and
louder, so the sound sounds heavier. These hormonal
changes also cause the larynx (larynx) to become
larger.
Based on interviews with MRA's mother, MRA in
her mother's observation is irritable and emotional
especially when MRA's mother gives attention to
MRA's younger siblings. MRA often felt sad, angry,
and went into the room when he saw his mother
playing with his brother. MRA often closes his
bedroom door, even locks it. Sometimes when angry,
MRA spend more time hanging out with friends or
play outdoors. MRA brother admitted several times
caught MRA watch porno in his room with his
friends. But when the MRA mother wants to clarify,
MRA often responded curtly when invited to chat
with his mother.
3.1.3.2 Religion Norms
The MRA grew up in a family that instilled Islamic
values in its life. Since the age of six years, MRA has
been accustomed to follow religious classes near his
home every evening before sunset. MRA has also
been informed about the prohibition of marital
relationships before marriage. MRA claimed to be
interested in the opposite sex since the MRA was 11
years old. Currently MRA already has a girlfriend of
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playmates who is the same age as MRA. In the dating,
MRA confessed only to chat and never has
intercourse because it is forbidden in religion.
3.1.3.3 Sex Information Sources
Based on interviews to the subject, MRA claimed to
know about sex through the internet media. MRA first
learned to use the internet when his brother was
working on group assignments with his friends at
home. At that time his brother’s male friend called
MRA and taught how to search internet sites. His
friend then gave an example by showing how to find
porn sites. It was then that the MRA first learned
about sex. Sometimes later, MRA several times
access the internet in his brother's room and see
pornographic pictures. His brother once caught sight
of a pornographic image in his room, then reported it
their parents. After that incident the computer was
moved to the living room.
MRA also knows things about sex from his
friends. If he was gathered in a place that has Wi-Fi,
MRA often see pornographic images through mobile
phones. Apart from the electronic media, MRA had
once inadvertently seen his parents were having an
intercourse, but did not know that.
3.1.3.4 Sex Education from Parents
Until the behavior of showing the genitals and
masturbating in front of his mother, the parents of
MRA have never provided sex education. When
MRA masturbates in front of his mother, his mother
realizes that she is too late in giving sex education to
MRA. MRA's mother offers MRA a direct look at her
genital organ and compares it to MRA's. ES argues
that by looking directly at hers then the mother can
better monitor and satisfy MRA curiosity about male
and female reproductive organs directly under the
supervision of his mother. The mother argues that it
is safer than the MRA access via the internet.
Meanwhile, MRA's father limits the use of the
Internet for fear of adverse effects provided by the
internet. Apart from that the father moved the
computer from the room of the subject's sister to the
living room.
3.1.3.5 A Trend of Free Lifestyle between Male
and Female in the Society
Humans are creatures who have a desire to be one
with each other and the surrounding environment. By
using thoughts, instincts, feelings, desires, human
beings react and interact with their environment. The
pattern of social interaction is generated by a
sustainable relationship within a society.
In adolescence a lot of changes that occur, both
psychological and physical aspects. Adolescence is
often associated with the name of juvenile
delinquency. Adolescence in general is a transitional
shift from childhood to adolescence. Juvenile
delinquency arises from the inability of the child to
face the task of adolescent development that must be
met. The social transition of adolescents changes in
the relationships of individuals with other human
beings in emotions, in personality, and in the role of
the social context in development.
In this case, the MRA was born and raised in
Sukabumi. Juvenile delinquency in Sukabumi society
is high in the form of brawl, drug abuse and drugs,
and sexual deviation behavior. According to MRA his
friends mostly already have a boyfriend. In the dating
they are hand in hand, kissing, hugging his girlfriend,
but both MRA and his friends have not had sex
because it is prohibited by religion (not married).
Sukabumi people mostly embraced Islam that
prohibits sexual intercourse before marriage.
3.2 Discussion
In the case of this MRA, there are some reasonable
problems related to the parent, which include:
 the issue that relates to the implementation of
developmental tasks in terms of obtaining
emotional freedom from parents. Teens want to
be recognized as adults while parents still do
not let go because they are not enough to be
given freedom.
 The needs of the caring and affection of the
parents cannot always be fulfilled because
parents are busy in looking after their younger
siblings.
 Developmental tasks that are contrary to
economic dependence, especially in the
continuity of education/schooling. All of which
become a problem that interfere with his life.
In early adolescence, the context of closeness with
friends becomes greater than that of parents (Berndt,
1982). This is reinforced by the feelings of the subject
of this study who feels neglected by his mother
because of the birth of his younger brother. In facing
teenagers, parents tend to give up, and they no longer
monitor their teenagers, nor are they actively
involved in behavior management (Dishion et al.,
2003). Challenges in early youth brotherhood
relationships can generate additional pressure on the
transition to secondary school (Erath et al., 2008).
Early adolescents tend to be closer to their peers.
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Often, peers become the center of questions and
discussion in the face of problems encountered,
including sexuality issues that want to know. In
addition to the physical condition of adolescents
affecting their psychological condition in terms of
sexuality, advances in the field of knowledge and
technology provide ease in communication,
information, and completeness-completeness about
sex. This causes teenagers to mature faster in terms of
sexuality.
Sexual maturity makes teenagers become easily
aroused for things that smell sexuality because of
increased sexual urges. The increased sexual drive
and great curiosity about sexuality caused the MRA
to start playing its vital tool. In this case, MRA's wish
was reinforced by the internet media she watched
with her brother's friend. At that time, the MRA needs
parental guidance to deal with emerging problems.
Ironically, MRA who entered early adolescence and
faced a transitional period felt the distance between
the early teenagers and parents due to the birth of
MRA's younger brother.
The parents realize and understand the condition
because they are busy nurturing younger siblings. The
parents of MRA forget to give any information
needed along with the physical growth. MRA is not
getting attention in facing the problems faced,
especially around the physical and psychological
development. MRA became reluctant and lazy to ask.
Communication between parents and MRA becomes
inhibited and tends to be ineffective. MRA prefers to
question and discuss new things happening within
themselves with their peers. In fact, peers tend not to
have sufficient knowledge to share, especially
information about sexuality.
Sexual information is very necessary for children
from an early age, especially to face his teenage years.
To create mutual understanding, good
communication must be maintained between parents
and MRA. If each other does not understand, it will
cause misunderstandings in communicating.
Communication about sexuality in the family
should be maintained. After the incident of MRA
masturbation in front of his mother, MRA's mother
started giving dialogue room for MRA about
sexuality problem. But the way the mother did was
inappropriate because the mother wanted to show the
reproductive organs and compare it with the MRA.
MRA feel embarrassed to see directly the mother's
reproductive organs despite her own mother. This is
not right. Facing adolescence, education through
peers with the style of adolescent language is more
striking for sex education. Various studies mentioned
that peer education has proven to be an effective and
innovative means of delivering sexuality education
(Barnekow, 2014).
Sexual problems in adolescents stem from
developmental tasks that they have not mastered. The
task of such development is to form a new
relationship more mature with the opposite sex. Teens
that have matured sexually have an interest in sexual
activity. This is a problem that must be resolved
correctly. For unmarried teenagers, of course, it is
difficult to satisfy their sex drive because they are not
allowed to do so. However, it does not close the
possibility for someone to be able to satisfy his sex
drive, by way of masturbation. Teenagers who have
unstable sexual urges force themselves to masturbate
to release their sexual desires.
The desire to masturbate arises from sexual
arousal that induces libido or sexual drive to meet
sexual needs in search of satisfaction. Men are more
aroused by visual stimuli, whereas in women more
aroused by tactile stimuli.
Adolescents have two values of expectation
(idealism) and ability. If the two values are not
aligned, the forms of frustration will appear. These
frustrations in turn will stimulate the younger
generation to perform abnormal acts.
The development of reproductive behavior or
adolescent sexual behavior in a society is determined
by various social factors. The influx of cultures that
change values is caused by global communication and
technological change/innovation. In contrast, internal
creativity factor in the form of intellectual change is
an important factor in determining the development
of reproductive behavior. Each form of behavior has
a specific meaning that is addressed to a particular
need. Adolescents can have behavioral variations
devoted to diverse purposes of life.
Theories and research show that sexual behavior
is influenced by positive motivation for sex, which
may be physical (desire for pleasure, intimate, social
orientation (desire for approval or honor from peers)
or desire to gain a sense of competence (Ott et al.,
2006).
Great curiosity in his physical changes
encouraged the MRA to hold and play his genitals.
The inappropriate problem with the MRA is that he
shows and plays his genitals in front of his mother.
This is also unnatural because research shows that
cases of masturbation are often committed by
teenagers aged 15-19 years in a closed place and
conducted by teenagers who have had sex with the
opposite sex (Gates and Sonenstein, 2000).
In addition to adjusting to the very rapid physical
changes experienced in adolescence, the MRA feels
jealous of his brother. Jealousy is not resolved
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properly. MRA has tried various ways to get attention
from his mother starting from being a good brother,
banging tables, shouting, confining herself, and going
outdoors to hang out with her friends. But, he still did
not find the attention.
High curiosity of teenagers makes them search for
information from various sources around it. In this
case, the MRA gets information about sex from
friends of his older brothers. Teens are easily
influenced by the context of friends rather than from
parents (Erath et al., 2008). Failure to communicate
with parents results in a discontent within teenagers.
Dissatisfaction arises because his psychic needs are
not met properly and reasonably, so he tried to
compensate. As long as the selected compensation is
positive, it will not be a problem. But adolescents
often have difficulty choosing a positive
compensation.
Sex education in adolescents should refer to the
WHO's strategy vision: "all children and young
people should have access to information and support
of gender and age-appropriate health and sexuality”
(Barnekow, 2014). The more we allow teenagers to
experience and accumulate the positive effects of
protective factors, the more likely they are to achieve
and sustain their health and wellbeing in the future.
In the case of MRA, the behavior of masturbation
in front of his mother is a form of protest because he
feels unfairly treated. MRA felt helpless in competing
healthily with his younger brother. It is possible that
he has a developmental phase at the phallic stage, the
stage in which a child learns to compete with others.
In this case, MRA felt less able to compete with his
brother to get the attention of his parents. In addition,
MRA admitted that he had watched his parents
performed intercourse. This may make the MRA
unconsciously gain experience if he wants to get
attention from the mother; he needs to show his penis
as a symbol of his manhood. Normative decision
theory states that perceived benefits are an important
component of behavioral decisions.
4 CONCLUSIONS
The loss of attention and affection from his parents
made the MRA commit incorrect acts. The attention
of parents especially the attention of her mother
diverted with the birth of a new brother. This is
possible because of the considerable age difference
between the MRA with his brother is 5 years, so the
MRA feel jealous of his brother. The lack of
communication between the MRA and its parents also
predisposes to the occurrence of this case. MRA is
trying to get her mother's attention back in many ways
but has not gained the satisfaction of her wishes.
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