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In another previous study by Rizkiati (2012), it is
mentioned in the results of her research that
endogamy marriage is maintained because of the
background of culture that is hold firmly by Arab
descendants. The strong desire to maintain her
identity as an Arab descendant by limiting the
selection of partners in marriage. The efforts to
purify blood descent, trust, and security of the
property are maintained. In addition to marriages
carried out on the basis of emotional or mutual love,
the parents also has an important role in the selection
process of mate, namely by conducting a
matchmaking system. Therefore, it is not surprising
that in the second Arab-Kaili couple, the man’s
family had intended to arrange his marriage with the
candidate whom chosen for him.
From the facts mentioned above, in different
ethnic marriages, the problem tends to come from
before the marriage. Thus, pre-marital adjustment is
required. This pre-marital adjustment apart from the
couple's determination in convincing parents and
family also concerns the role of the couple's family.
Judging from the processes of the four couples
above, it appears that their family can solve the
problems that arise well. Thus, a good settlement
can make harmony in the family. A good marital
adjustment is characterized by the ability of family
members to understand the different views between
their family members. A good adjustment will be
achieved in this way compared to if one member of
the family has to give up or dissent is silenced.
Another main problem in communication
between different ethnic marriage is the adjustment
of communication patterns that require mutual
understanding between one another due to cultural
differences. If there is no mutual understanding
between different ethnic groups when these two
types of culture are united, then miss-
communication often arises. This difficulty could
lead to more communication errors, more sentence
errors, more likely misunderstandings, and more
misperceptions. If this is applied to the world of
marriage (household), the more cultural differences
between the two partners, the harder it is to adapt to
a marriage. In addition, the more differences
between the two extended families, the difficulty of
adapting would increase because basically a large
family (tribal family) is very influential on
individuals. This indicates that problems in marriage
would be more complex, especially if
communication is unhealthy. For this reason, mutual
understanding of each other's culture is absolutely
necessary to minimize this problem. Though it
cannot be denied that mutual understanding of a
partner's culture does not guarantee freedom from
misunderstanding (arising out of feeling offended)
for culturally different partner.
Every couple who has been married would very
much hope to be formed and increased a
psychological well-being, but, it is very difficult to
achieve if the marriage comes from two different
cultures. In terms of dimensions, couples married to
different cultural backgrounds would find it difficult
to make full acceptance of their spouses and
extended family because the person has a very
different principle from others.
Parental treatment of children born to different
ethnic marriages is also necessary, especially to
introduce every element of behavior from the two
different cultures, such as cultural background,
communication and so on which can be embedded in
children to become the reference of the cultural
recognition both parents. Both parents must
understand how to educate children, to make both
parents’ cultures well-known by the children.
4 CONCLUSIONS
Marital adjustment is not an absolute state but a
continuous process. Adjustment of inter-ethnic
marriage is a process of bringing the differences that
exist between couples with different ethnic
backgrounds in the form of culture, life view,
adjustment to life or new things, and adjustments to
communication. Thus, happiness and hope in
marriage can be fulfilled. The greater the cultural
differences, the greater the challenge in
communication both in language and in nonverbal
cues. Thus, it can be concluded that communication
becomes the main thing required in the matter of
adjusting different ethnic marriages.
REFERENCES
Afif, A. 2012. Identitas Muslim Indonesia-Pergulatan
Mencari Jati Diri. Depok (Jawa Barat): Kepik.
Ali, Ahmad Zainuddin. 2011. Pandangan Habaib
Terhadap Pernikahan Wanita Syarifah Dengan Laki-
laki Non Sayyid (studi pada komunitas arab di
kelurahan bendomungal kecamatan bangil kabupaten
pasuruan).
Haviland. W.A. 2017. Anthropology: The Human
Challenge.. 15th ed. Cengage Learning: Boston, USA.
Hefner, R. W. 2007. Politik Multikulturalisme-Menggugat
Realitas Kebangsaan. Yogyakarta: KANISIUS
(Anggota IKAPI).
Four Inter-ethnic Marriages of Two Chinese â
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A¸S Kaili Couples and Two Arab â
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A¸S Kaili Couples
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