Parents Role on Pornography Addiction in Children
Luluk Nadiyatun Nadziroh
Faculty of Psychology State Islamic University Maulana Malik Ibrahim Malang, Indonesia
Keywords: pornography, addiction, parent
Abstract: Nowadays, the growth of children is in tandem with the advancement of internet information technology.
Unfortunately, internet also provides some disadvantages in the form of vulnerability of information access
that is not in accordance with the capacity of child’s growth development, for example pornography.
Accessing pornographic content repeatedly will lead to addiction to pornography. Therefore, it is necessary
to handle it from closest social relation that is parent. The study aimed to describe the role of parents
overcoming children who are addicted to pornography by controlling the behavior of children in accessing
pornography does not recur. This study used descriptive qualitative approach with case study research type
and the form of single case. Methods of data collection in the study used participant observation and in-
depth interviews with nuclear family consist of father (R) and mother (E) as the subjects, also grandmother
(AZ) as the informant. The mother (E), as the main subject, had two children which one of them was
addicted to pornography. Nuclear family live together with extended family. The result showed that the role
of parents to overcome the children behaviour from accessing pornography through (1) controlling, family
control the children behaviour from accessing pornography and using gadget, (2) modelling, family being
role model for the children in the use of gadget, (3) building attachment with children, (4) building moral
understanding that related to prohibition of accessing pornography which is not justified by religion and
norms, (5) supporting activity, inviting children to do some activities that can avoid the use of gadget
continously.
1 INTRODUCTION
Children use internet to do many things. Some use it
for educational purposes, the others use it for
recreational purposes. As the internet is easy to
access, children is exposed to many kind of
information. One of the negative effect of easy
access to the internet is the increase of pornography
content accessed. This will bad to behavioral
problems and will disturb children development.
Most children nowadays use gadgets like cellular
phone or tablet in their daily life. This can be the
main reason of easy access towards pornography.
Gadgets are the main media in facilitating internet
access that leads to pornography access. The survey
reveals a shocking data from www.telkomsel.com,
the survey held by Yayasan Kita dan Buah Hati
shows that in 2015 children between the age of 10 to
12 years are exposed to pornography. 90% percent
of 2064 children already access pornography
contetns, 33% of them access it via internet.
The pornography according to the law No.
44 of 2008 in Chapter I, Article 1, Paragraph 1:
"Pornography is a picture, sketch, illustration, photo,
writing, sound, animation, cartoon, poetry,
conversation, gestures, or other forms of
communication messages through various media of
communication and public performances that
containing obscenity or sexual exploitation which
violates the norms in society “. Based on that
definition pornography is exotic exposure through
media to excite lust.
Pornograhy leaves many negative effect toward
the children.(Admin,2005).Accesing pornography
can lead to serious addiction. McConnel and Keith
Campbell (as cited in Sidik Hasan,2008:15) Explains
five effects of pornography exposure. First, the early
exposure. They access the pornography content
once, then it continuously become a habit. The next
stage are addiction, escalation, desensitization, and
action.
Addiction is defined as a process whereby a
behavior, that can function both to produce pleasure
and to provide relief from internal discomfort, is
employed in a pattern characterized by (1) recurrent
failure to control the behavior (powerlessness) and
Nadziroh, L.
Parents Role on Pornography Addiction in Children.
DOI: 10.5220/0008590604410449
In Proceedings of the 3rd International Conference on Psychology in Health, Educational, Social, and Organizational Settings (ICP-HESOS 2018) - Improving Mental Health and Harmony in
Global Community, pages 441-449
ISBN: 978-989-758-435-0
Copyright
c
2020 by SCITEPRESS – Science and Technology Publications, Lda. All rights reserved
441
(2) continuation of the behavior despite significant
negative consequences (unmanageability)
(Goodman,1990). Lance Dodes states that there are
two types of addiction physical addiction, marked
with addiction toward physical things like alcohol or
drugs, and non physical addiction, marked with
addiction towards nonphysical things like gaming.
Pornography addiction includes in non physical
addiction. Two symptoms that can be recognized
from people who are addicted to pornography
contents are dependence and withdrawal (Yee,2003).
One who are dependent on a substance, in this case
pornography and the sensation resulted from it,
needs to access it in order to feel alive and survive.
Without it he will be unable to do everyday tasks. If
he stops accessing it he will withdraw and anxious.
Children addiction on pornography is a serious
problem. It needs parents, responsibility in solving
it. Parents role is very important. Parents role is the
main aspect in dealing with the children addiction
towards pornography. The previous research
explains that children behaviour determined by their
parents parenting pattern. Parent need to listen and
understand their children. They also have to be the
main role model for their children.
(Hyoscyamina,2011:8-9). (Covey (in Yusuf 2006:
47- 48), that: Modelling (example of trust
worthness) means that parents able to give good
example for their children; 2) mentoring, means taht
parents can build a good relationship and give their
children enough love that their children need; 3)
organizing, means that parents can help children to
overcome the obstacle their children during their
development; 4) teaching, means that parents teach
children basic knowledge and norms that applies in
the society, so that children have “conscious
competence”
This study aim to describe the role of parents in
overcoming children addiction towards pornography
by controllling the children behavior. this research
tend to answer one question that is what is parents
role on pornography addiction in children.
2 METHOD
The research was conducted in an industrial region
in Gadang sub-district of Sukun, Malang, East Java.
based on data by BPS (Badan Pusat Statistik) of
Malang, in this region there are 44 medium and big
factories on 2016. One of the factories is where the
subject is work. In 2010 there are 4401 families
living in this region. It was conducted in the subject
house. The reason behind the choose of the location
where the research conducted is because the
researcher wanted to have the whole description
about the subject role as a parent in dealing with the
child. Besides, the researcher also determined to
observe the child behaviour after the exposure of
pornography content and the addiction.
This study is a descriptive qualitative using the
approach of single case study/ This study used
descriptive qualitative approach with case study
research type and the form of single case. Case study
is use to gain more knowledge on a contemporer
case. In this research, case study is set to gain
information about parents role in dealing with child
addiction on pornography. The data use is in the
form of primary data from in the interview and
observation. The source of the data is from direct
field research.
The subject of this research is a mother of two
children. The subject name is represented as (E).
Between two children, there is one child who is
exposed to pornography and addicted to it. The child
name is represented as (F) a twelve years old boy.
The subject (E) works from 6 am to 5 pm in the
factory. As the result, the subject only have a little
time to control her children. During her 13 hours at
home, half of it is used to sleep and rest. Therefore,
the amount of time for her children cannot be
significantly measured. The subject in this research
is limited to a subject that : (1) have pornography
addiction child; (2) have children who are accessing
pornography; and (3) that nurse their children
directly and themseves.
As the research instrument, the research is
directly involved and function as the main role in
doing the pleminary research, data collection, data
analysis, and data presentation. The other instrument
that is used in this researc is interview guidelines
that have been arranged by the researcher. The
interview guidelines in the Table 1, 2, and 3 :
Table 1 : Parents Role
No.
Parents Role
1.
Modelling (example of
trust worthness) means
that parents able to give
good example for their
children
How
parents
become a
role
model for
their
children?
2.
mentoring, means that
parents can build a good
relationship and give their
How
parents
give
ICP-HESOS 2018 - International Conference on Psychology in Health, Educational, Social, and Organizational Settings
442
children enough love that
their children need;
attention
to their
children?
3.
organizing, means that
parents can help children
to overcome the obstacle
their children during their
development
How
parents
organize
their
children
activities?
4.
teaching, means that
parents teach children
basic knowledge and
norms that applies in the
society, so that children
have “conscious
competence”
How
parents
cultivate
norms
and
religion
teaching
to their
children?
Table 2 : Background in Children Accessing Pornography
No.
Backgroun in Children Accessing
Pornography
1.
How do the children
access pornography?
2.
What external factors
do affect children in
accessing
pornography?
3.
From what media do
children accessing
pornography? How
do the media
influence children on
accessing
pornography?
4.
How long do the
children accessing
pornography? How
frequent do the
children accessing
pornography?
Table 3 : Pornography Addiction
No.
Pornography Addiction
1.
Recurrent failure to
control the behavior
Does your
children try to
(powerlessness).
(Goodman,1990:2)
stop accessing
pornography?
How Does your
children control
their behavior?
And how long
do the children
can control
theirselves from
accessing
pornography?
2.
Continuation of the
behavior despite
significant negative
consequences
(unmanageability)
(Goodman,1990)
Does your
children
continued to
watch
pornography
after seeing it
the first time?
This research uses structural deep interview
method and obervation to fully understand about
parents role toward children who are addicted to
pornography. The interview was done under the
subject agreement and permission.
According to Miles & Huberman there are four
steps of interactive data models on data analysis
tehnique. The first step is data collection, the second
step is data reduction, the third step is data display,
and the last step is conclusion or verification.
3 RESULT
The family as the closest environment of children
play an important role in the process of children
development. the family also play a role in
straightening out the abnormal behavior of children,
including children who are addicted to
pornography).
The result shows that the role of parents to
control the behavior of children from accessing
pornography is : (1) controlling, parents control of
childrens behavior from accessing pornography and
using gadget, (2) modelling, parents being the role
model for children in the use of gadget, (3) building
attachment with children, (4) cultivate moral
understanding related to prohibition to access
pornography which is not justified by religion and
norms, (5) supporting activity, parents provide
supporting activities that can avoid the use of gadget
continuously.
Parents Role on Pornography Addiction in Children
443
Parents role on pornography addiction in children
(Controlling) The role of parents is very dominant
for the condition of children who are addicted to
pornography, because they become the main control
holders. Parents become the main control of the
behavior of accessing pornographic sites. Parents set
prohibition for children to access pornographic sites.
“Don’t watch that (pornography, because it is
forbidden, and you are not ready for it, if somehow
you were treated by God that way, what would you
do? (I2/L34)
The role of parents is also included supervision
of the use of gadgets by monitoring the history of
internet browser. It is because the Gadget is a
facilitator media that contains various information,
including pornography.
“The most important thing, my kid is not alone
when he is accessing the gadgets. If I’m there, my
kids won’t do something suspicious”. (I5/L34).
“Every night, miss, I take the gadget from them. I
don’t allow them to use the gadget. I’m afraid that
my kids watch that (porn) without me knowing it.”.
(I1/L7).
" Yes, I see the internet history, once a week,
basically if there is a chance when he goes to bed or
play, I check on his gadget at home Miss.."(I5 /L39)
Parents set rules for particular of time that are
allowed for children to use gadget to avoid excessive
use. Parental control in regulating the use of gadgets
by children is based on advice from a psychologist
who explains that the introduction of children to
pornography initially through the internet accessed
from gadgets.
“Managing the use of gadget is based on time, miss.
For example, if my kid usually plays with a cell
phone a whole day, I, now, limit the time, only from
07.00-08.00 p.m. otherwise, after school, my kid
plays with the gadget for a moment or after I come
back from working I take the gadget. But it only
stays for a short time”. (I5/L1)
(Modelling) Behavior of accessing pornography
cannot be separated from the use of gadget done by
children. Parents provide examples of rules for using
the gadget. Parents work together to establish a
commitment in providing an example of regulating
the use of the gadget.
“So, I myself don’t use a gadget as well as my
husband in the evening “yah (addressing her
husband), don’t use gadgets in the evening, so our
kid doesn’t envy” if not doing so, our kid will say
“why can’t I use the gadget, mom and dad also use
it”, so to avoid the situation, and to make my kid
understand that I don’t use the phone, so my kid can
do the same.” (I1/L38).
Parents give an example to children in stopping
the use of gadgets as well as disable it. The effort
Picture 1 : Parents role on pornography addiction in children
ICP-HESOS 2018 - International Conference on Psychology in Health, Educational, Social, and Organizational Settings
444
was made to amplify the rules related to the use of
gadgets set by parents.
“I take my kid’s gadgets, I also deactivate my
gadget, and I myself don’t use it. Yes, indeed, I don’t
use my gadget. The whatsapp and my number were
deactivated, I also don’t play music. So, we are the
same, not accessing the gadget”. (I5/L18)
Other than setting the rules, parents also need to
explain to their children that they are not using
gadgets. The parents explanation is to build children
confidence so that children could imitate parents
behavior.
“Well, now I don’t use gadget, you also should not
use the phone. My phone has been shut down, so you
shouldn’t play with your gadget. Look, I have shutit
down. So, I really don’t access my gadget, miss.”
(I5/L19)
(Building Attachments) There are two ways to
bound with children first by fullfilling the
psychological needs of the children (caring).
Second, by being the place where the children can
share their story with (sharing). Accompanying
children during sleep is the right moment for
mothers to get close with their children. Building
attachments can lead trust so that children will be
open to parents about all activities and psychological
conditions experienced by children.
“Well, miss. Yesterday I accompanied my kid
sleeping, and my kid wanted to share his experience
to me. I directly asked about it (porn), also how
washe felt after watching it (the intonation of her
voice was raising), and my kid said, “Well, I don’t
know”. (I2/L14)
Moreover, in this process, parents can also seek
more information about their children experiences in
accessing pornography.
“But, I asked how and where did he look it
(pornography) yesterday. Yes, first he was covering
it up, but after a long time, he finally wanted to tell
me about his experience. In the past, he said, he
knew from his friend, well it turns out he knows that
after seeing on Google there are pornographic
advertisements like that. Because he is curious. So
he knows it from there”. (I4 /L12)
(Cultivation of moral understanding) Commonly,
parents apply moral understanding in order to
stimulate children to choose to do behavior that is in
accordance with religion, norms, or moral. So
that understanding of behavior - whether it is good
or bad - will arise from the own self. The parents
should apply religious teachings which are related to
prohibit accessing pornography. Parents should
emphasize to children that there will be
consequences for their sins and behavior. This
affirmation is carried out to raise faith of children so
that they do not repeat the sins.
“I continue to say that watching that kind of picture
is including a forbidden thing, it’s a sin. I said “are
you not afraid of a sin”, and then he answered, “I’m
afraid”, then I said “so, F must not watch it again”,
he said “ok mom”. I also said that it’s not good for
him and he understood, and he also said “why I
watched that? (I1/L40)
“Don’t watch that (pornography, because it is
forbidden, and you are not ready for it, if somehow
you were treated by God that way, what would you
do?”. (I2/L34)
Parents instill understanding of the consequence
of accessing pornography through YouTube. Parents
are showing videos that contain related messages as
consequences of accessing pornography, especially
on homosexual content.
“So, I watch a YouTube video about the impact of
watching homosexual porn video. I said to my kid,
‘look the impact if you watched the porn. Allah
would punish you”. (I4/L13).
Parents also explained that accessing
pornography also violated community norms.Parents
explain the nonacceptance of homosexual by
providing a simple example that seeing same-sex
pornography is violating human nature because
same-sex relationships cannot produce offspring.
"Yes, it cannot be like that, if the person is known,
you will be able to go to prison, be arrested by the
police, because it violates religion, how can men
and men have relationship, that is unacceptable,
then if you do that, what will you be in the future, do
you want to have children? Do you want to marry?
If that the case, you cannot have children. " (I5 /
L26)
(Supporting Activity) Because of the lack of other
activities available, children will be able to use their
gadgets more often. Children tend to be lazy,
Parents Role on Pornography Addiction in Children
445
consequently, the activity that supports them is
playing their gadget. However, the children misused
the gadget by accessing pornography. To overcome
the behavior, parents incite their children with more
adaptive activities than just playing their gadget.
Parents incite children on reciting Al Quran
activities. The father is a teacher for their children.
“Let’s learn to read Quran. “Yes, but dad is often
tired”, “ask him to teach you for a moment, a verse
by a verse”. At that time, we learn to read Quran
once a week, but it’s not done lately. Not really
certain, Miss..”. (I2/L22)
To invite children to recite the Quran, parents
give reward. If their children want to recite the
Quran, they will be given a reward of food they like.
The reward is given to increase the spirit of the child
to recite the Quran.
“We offer rewards first, especially about what he
wants to buy if F wants to learn to recite the
Quran.” (I5/L30)
Meanwhile, the parents have heard the advice of
psychologists to provide activities for children to in
order that they do not stick on accessing the gadget
which can lead them to access pornography.
“Well, keep giving them activities in order to avoid
them accessing the gadget. The main point is to
make the children busy with other
activities.”(I1/L36).
4 DISCUSSION
4.1 Controlling
According to Dwiputra (2017: 2) one of the factors
for the internet users, in accessing negative content
such as pornography, is the lack of self-control
because their attention focused only on the internet.
They can spend a lot of time to surfing in the
internet. Therefore, the children, as internet user,
need a social control from the environment like the
control parents. Behavioural control refers to the
rules, regulations, and restrictions that parents
impose on their children, as well as monitoring their
activities intensely. (Xian Li, 2013: 1). Kakihara
(2009) said that behavioural control focus on
managing the adolescent behaviour by creating a
regulation structure through several treatment such
as monitoring and determining the limits of
behaviour. In the result, behavioural control has
done by the family through monitoring the internet
history. It is usually done by the mother while her
child was sleeping (I2/L16), playing outside,
whenever there is a chance (I5 /L39), and at least
once a week (I2 / L15). In addition, the mother does
not allow her child to use the gadget at the night.
The mother takes the gadget so that the child cannot
access pornography again (I2/L35). The research
conducted by Barber, et al (1994) had explained that
controlling the behaviour of children by parent,
deals with their capacity to regulate the behaviour.
Parents who take an active role in controlling the
behaviour of children can cultivate self-control and
awareness in children.
4.2 Modelling
Parents are the first and leading model for children
(either positive or negative) and are a "way of life"
for children (Joseph, 2006); John Locke argues that
a good modelling greatly affects a childs behaviour.
The parents should know that children models their
behaviour (Sodik, 2014 as cited in Warisyah,
2015:132). Modelling can be done by regulating and
restricting the use of gadgets at home. The results of
the modelling process lead to decrease in the
intensity of the use of gadgets by children.
Modelling involves four processes: (1)
Attention, the process by which the observer /
individual pay attention to the behaviour or
appearance of the model. Jones (2011: 435)
mentions the variable of attention is the
characteristics of modelling stimuli (including,
availability, specificity, personal attractiveness,
functional value) and observer characteristics
(including sensory capacity, excitatory level,
perceptual habits, and previous reinforcement).
Children tend to imitate a warm, nurturing and
powerful model (Brooks, 2004; 137). Therefore the
mother acts as a model with a warmth approach to
children. (2) Retention, a process that refers
individual efforts to include information about the
model. Mothers provide an explanation to the child
that both mother and child do not use gadget.
Explanation is done repeatedly to build beliefs in
children so he can follow the mother's behaviour as a
model (I2 / L3).
4.3 Building Attachment
To obtain information about experiences in
accessing pornography is not easy because the
children were not being open. Therefore parents
begin by building attachment with children. Building
ICP-HESOS 2018 - International Conference on Psychology in Health, Educational, Social, and Organizational Settings
446
attachment between parent and child is to provide
care according to the needs of the child and become
an interactive social partner response to the child's
experience (Brooks,2002: 110). Through these
statements it can be drawn that there are two ways in
building attachment with children that is by
providing care and become interactive social partner
who can sharing experiences with children. The
treatment is related to the fulfilment of
psychological needs for children. Therefore, parents
should engage the children by building attachment to
accompany the child during sleep. (I2/L6).
Therefore, the time to sleep is used not only by
accompanying children but also invites children to
share stories about the experience of children during
the day at school (I1/L40).
In addition, according to Durkin (1995 in
Ervika:16) attachment is a relationship supported by
an attachment behaviour designed to maintain that
relationship. The mother as a stimulant, forming
attachment by accompanying child during sleep
because the child still asked to be accompanied
(I2/L6/E) as well as grandmother (I1/L40).
Accompanying child during sleep is a form of
attachment behaviour that is maintained by the
mother to show attachment to the child.
In addition to providing careful according by
Brooks (2002: 110) that one way to shape
attachment between parent and child is to be an
interactive social partner to responding about the
child's experience. If seen from the point of view of
the child, the child asks to be accompanied during
sleep is an attachment behaviour done to maintain
closeness and communicate with the figure
according (Ainsworth:1985).
Expression of caring from the mother builds
security in the child. According (Ronald,2006:155)
the affectionate statement given by parents can
builds a sense of security and become part of the
family. At that time, mother can ask children about
the beginning of seeing pornography. Children, who
are being open with his /her parents by telling about
his experience of seeingpornography (I2/L14).
4.4 Cultivate Moral Understanding
Human interaction has led the rule that is morality.
But naturally, the child is unable to understand the
prevailing moral values without being preceded by
the stimulation of his environment. Parents as the
closest family have a major influence on the moral
development of children (Gunarsah: 1983:62).
Parents can teach how children should behave and
what behaviour should be avoided. Mother
therefore, taught that seeing pornography is an act
that must be avoided because it is included in
immoral behaviour in which the act violates the
morality contained in religion (I2/L34). In the
religion of Islam seeing pornography is a violation
of obedience to the command of Allah SWT to
subdue the views of the material of immorality.
Every behaviour has consequences as a result.
Violation of Gods provision has the consequence of
getting sin. This is emphasized by the mother to
strengthen the child's understanding of morality
violations of religion is done by seeing pornography.
At the age of 6 to teenager, the child
environment has begun to grow not limited to the
home environment. This is what makes the childs
interaction also more widely with the surrounding
environment according (Adiwardhana as cited in
Gunarsa 1983: 69). The interaction between the
children and the various environments begins to
develop the moral values that are understood from
the society. So the norms in society become
benchmarks. Kohlberg states that at the age of 10-12
years, the child is able to know well the reasons or
principles that underlie a rule (Adiwardhana as cited
in Gunarsa 1983:69). Children are able to
distinguish between various moral values as well as
various situations where moral values can be
imposed. One is the provision of the rule of law.
That seeing pornography violates the law and
consequently imprisoned (I5/L26). In addition
beside legal norms there is a norm of morality
associated with the behaviour of children in
watching pornography who love the genre of
homosexuality. It violates the norm of morality that
the eastern people have believed that the nature of
the relationship of two human beings are different
sex (heterosexuality) rather than a same sex
(homosexuality). Explained by the subject mothers
that seeing same-sex pornographic material fights
human nature because neighbour relationships
cannot produce offspring (I5/L26)
In the process of learning, the child also learns
about the consequences of his actions. Reward or
positive consequences will increase the potential for
behaviour to be repeated (Brooks, 2004:137).
Similarly, the punishment given by parents to
overcome the problematic behaviour of the children,
will reduce the possibility of such actions to be
repeated. Therefore, the mother confirms the ban on
the child by affirming the consequences besides sin
by frightening. So that will appear care. The child
becomes open by allowing supervision on his
gadget.
Parents Role on Pornography Addiction in Children
447
4.5 Supporting Activity
Stimulate children with various activities, can avoid
the child from using gadget continuously. Playing
gadgets as a habit can cause lack of availability of
other activities. Children tend to be lazier. Children
also abuse the use of the gadget by looking on
pornography. Therefore psychologtists suggest that
parents need to condition their children more
adaptive behaviour to prevent them from abusing the
gadget. In directing children to adaptive behaviour,
begins with a stimulus.One of it is inviting children
to recites al Qur’an. So that the children can adapt to
religous activities. But the behaviour is not formed
instantly without any reinforcement in the form of
reward given by parents (I5/L30) the reward is given
the favourite food of the child (I5 /L32). As Skinner
explains that individual behaviour is formed or
defended by the individual is determined by the
accompanying consequences (Latipun, 2008:132).
Law of operant conditioning that if the emergence of
operant behaviour accompanied by a stimulus
amplifier, then the strength of the behaviour will
increase. This means that behaviour that wants to be
accustomed will increase and survive when there is
reinforce (Rusuli,2014:42). Through such
reinforcement, the child's behaviour to recur is
repetitive and the child is motivated to add hours of
reciting Al Qur’an (I5 / L31).
5 CONCLUSIONS
The result showed that the role of parents to control
the behavior of children from accessing pornography
through (1) controlling, parents control of childrens
behavior from accessing pornography and on gadget
use, (2) modelling, parents being role model for
children in the use of gadget, (3) building attachment
with children, (4) cultivate moral understanding
related to prohibition to access pornography which is
not justified by religious and norms, (5) supporting
activity, inviting children to do activities that can
avoid the use of gadget continously.
The next researcher can explain more about can
explain more about parents backgrounds. This
research is limites the role of the family. Yet there
are numerous factors that influences the
pornography addiction, such as teacher roles and
school environment. This research also limited on
the subject understanding on eastern culture, for
example, as in the eastern culture, homosexuality
cannot openly and widely accepted.
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Adiwardhana,S.S. 1983. Peranan Orangtua
Terhadap Perkembangan Moral Anak in
Gunarsa, Singgih. D & Gunarsa, Y. Singgih,
D. (1983). Psikologi Perkembangan Anak
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