Women’s Conception of Piety: A Reason to Divorce in Contemporary

Malang

Jamilah

and Erik Sabti Rahmawati

Radboud University, Nijmegen, The Netherlands

Fakultas Syariah, Universitas Islam Negeri Maulana Malik Ibrahim, Malang, Indonesia

Keywords: Divorce, Marital Tasks, Piety.

Abstract: The emergence of private piety trend as the new form of Muslim religiosity gives a chance for women to

manoeuvre their piety into diverse expressions especially in marriage. Recently, women start interpreting

piety-constructed by their interest, knowledge, social norms, and religious activities they get involved and

examining their husbands’ pious performance concerning their marital tasks and relationship. If the

husband’s performance of their marital tasks are not following their understanding of piety concept, in some

cases, divorce is unavoidable. This paper examines women’s concept of the husband’s marital task

performances which are considered not pious, motivating the women to initiate a divorce. The analysis of

women's narrations about their conceptions on husband's piety in marriage reveals women's demand on their

husband's pious conducts in performing their marital tasks. If the husbands violate the religious commands

such as drinking alcohol, the women consider the husband is not illegible to be the head of the family,

encouraging the women to terminate their marriage.

1 INTRODUCTION

“A husband is the head of family, he should give

a good example for the members of the family like

performing five time-praying and asks the family to

pray together, otherwise, he is not a good husband

for me”. This statement was raised by a woman that

I interviewed for asking their motivation to divorce,

which are similarly expressed by some other women

of the population of this study. Based on depth -

interview with 15 divorced women in Malang, piety

becomes a private matter for women providing them

a personal preference to conceptualize piety and

apply the concept into marital tasks of the husbands

which, in some cases, leads to a divorce.

The narrations of divorced women will be

discussed in this paper to gain an insight about

women’s conception of piety in recent context. Their

conceptions were claimed by the women to be their

personal motivation to initiate a formal divorce

before the religious court of Malang district with the

addition of other contributing factors.

Women’s conception of piety in marriage and

divorce by piety have been discussed in several

studies. As an instance, In “Muslim women, middle

class habitus, and modernity in Indonesia”, Rinaldo

analyzes the concept of piety set up by female

members of Prosperous Justice Party (PKS) with

middle class background in Indonesia. They express

their piety in two ways. First, women’s piety is

manifest in their devotion to marital duties and the

way they dress. Delivering babies and maintaining

the unity of family are among the marital duties they

have to perform because they believe in the

importance of family and children. Other scholars

have documented the similar pattern of women’s

devotion to the family and their husband’s order as

part of women’s marital tasks and their piety (see

Welter: 1966, Mahmood: 2004, Ansari: 2016).

In relation to gender relationship within the

family, the party does not agree with gender

equality, but it prefers to apply the idea of a

partnership between husband and wife.

The concept

of partnership assigns equal but different tasks to

both husband and wife. Men are the head of family

(a sole provider), and women are the caretakers of

the children. Both functions are considered the

practice of general marital obligations in Islam,

which is stipulated in the Qurān.

Men and women

Jamilah, . and Rahmawati, E.

Women’s Conception of Piety: A Reason to Divorce in Contemporary Malang.

DOI: 10.5220/0009924011471153

In Proceedings of the 1st International Conference on Recent Innovations (ICRI 2018), pages 1147-1153

ISBN: 978-989-758-458-9

1147

should work together to perform the obligations

although they are different (Rinaldo, 2008).

Besides performing marital duties, women’s

piety must be explicitly expressed by wearing

Islamic dresses (jilbab and busana muslim). Their

fashions are identical to the jilbab and are less

fashionable than other middle-class women’s

fashion styles in Indonesia. However, their “less”

fashionable style does not make them less aware of

modern public ideas on education, discipline and

professionalism ethics. They also concern with all

the aforementioned ideas, which are identical with

modern ideas. Wearing Islamic clothes, to these

women, is their expression of their devotion to

Islam. Although they admit that wearing the jilbab

is not an obligation for Muslim women, they believe

that it is the correct way to be a Muslim woman.

The second way to express women’s piety

among female members of the PKS party is by

engaging to public piety. The platform of the party

emphasizes women’s agency as one of potential

motors of piety movement through da’wa

participation. One of the members of PKS reveals

the reason of women’s engagement to da’wa by

stating: “This time society is in the middle of moral

hemorrhage, far from the holy teachings of Islam

that can return social life to a honorable state…it is

certain that Muslim women have a major role in this

field, a role that, like it or not, requires going out of

the house, a role that requires the husband to permit

his wife to play an active role in developing an

Islamic society.”

Buggenhagen (2012) suggests more personal –

based interest of women’s practice of their pieties

among Senegalese women. She found that they

express their pieties by wearing Muslim dresses,

giving to charity, and visiting grave of religious

figures. Their intention to achieve their personal

piety motivates them to migrate to other places and

to gain a better economic condition. By having a

better economic situation and independent financial

management, they believe that they will find a way

to practice their piety. The way these Senegalese

women express their piety i.e. giving charity causes

several critics from their social environment for the

high rate of divorce, infidelity and financial

management problems with their spouses.

Senegalese women are required to share financial

contribution to the family by their husbands, but

they reject the request. They are more inclined to

spend their money on charity to the religious group

they affiliate to, to visit the grave of religious

leaders, and to wear a specific uniform of their

group identity. They do not put into account the

effect of their conducts although they may affect

their marital relationship. If they find any resistances

against their conducts coming from their family (i.e.

husband), they will maintain their belief on what

they choose and prefer to divorce. This case of

Senegalese women’s practice of piety reflects a

transformative piety in terms of the form of the

piety, which is very personal. Women’s piety, in this

account, is very private and is prominent for women

to achieve although it may risk their marriages.

Similarly, Smith (2014) finds that women’s

interpretation of piety as a way to avoid conducting

unlawful things sometimes leads them to initiate a

divorce. In her study, she finds that women believe

that Islam ensures their sexual right and forbids

adultery. In a certain period, during their husbands’

absence, they cannot fulfil their sexual need.

Therefore, they choose to divorce their husband

secretly (without the husbands’ consent and legal

procedure) and marry with other men also in secret

way that they call “spiritual marriage”. They claim

their second marriage as spiritual marriage because

they argue that it can prevent them from committing

adultery due to their sexual need. They decide to

have secret divorce and secret marriage because they

worry about the stigma of divorcee women which is

not allowed by the Javanese cultural background. In

this account, the women practicing secret marriage

still maintain the need to be pious – in her

articulation of piety- by reinterpreting religious

provision on sexuality and divorce.

Piela (2011) proposes another women’s

interpretation (expression) of their piety.

Her study

of piety, marriage and professional career among

women based on online discussion reveals that piety

for women is not only women’s submission to the

family i.e. staying in the house after marriage, but is

also public involvement i.e. entering the workforce.

According to Piela’s analysis, piety for some women

is a means for a liberation, an empowerment and a

gender justice. Therefore, although Piela’s

informants have an agreement about the demand to

be pious women, they differ in the way to practice

the piety. For example, a career woman maintains to

continue to work after marriage rather than only

staying and doing the household because being a

career woman is not a deviation from piety.

According to her, to support her family financially is

one of among other pious conducts. Being pious

does not mean to have limited access or to be

oppressed because piety is a matter of religiosity

directing women to conduct pious act. Although a

woman is engaged with marital duties at domestic

sphere, they can always negotiate the duties with the

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husband to uphold religious tenets and to reach the

goodness of the family. In this account, women’s

expression is very personal, but it is very

accommodating to the whole piety of the family.

In summary, as discussed at scholarly works

above, piety is a set of scheme of religiosity or

religious conducts, which is articulated and

expressed differently by women especially in

marriage. Women’s articulation of piety is much

influenced by women’s contexts and personal

interests, which are also dynamic in terms of forms

and place (sphere) where the piety is practiced. Also,

women propose different reasons to explain their

choices of piety practices. Therefore, with regard to

my study on women and divorce in the perspective

of piety is an opened inquiry to ask, whether they

reflect piety for one possible critical reason to

initiate divorce or piety as goal to achieve through

divorce.

2 METHOD

This study aims to provide a qualitative analysis

on women’s narration on their conception of piety

with regard to husband’s marital tasks such as the

head of the family, the educator of the member of

the family, and the protector of the family. For that

reason, this study uses qualitative data collected

from depth interview with 15 interlocutors in

Singosari sub-district in Malang in 2017.

The selection of the interlocutors based on two

categories. First, the women should be the initiator

of the divorce or the divorce litigants because this

study focuses on looking at women’s motivation to

request a formal divorce due to their husband’s

conducts which are considered less pious by the

women. Second, the women should be the divorced

women who have passed through all the trial court

procedures and granted their divorce request by the

judges at the religious court, proven by their divorce

certificate. By applying a snowball technique, 15

women are interviewed.

Malang is chosen as the location of this study

because it is one of the districts in East Java with the

highest rank of divorce rate in 2015. Specifically,

this study focuses on Singosari sub-district because

this Singosari sub-district stood as the second rank

of divorce number (253 cases) initiated by women

after Dampit sub-district (261 cases) according to

the gender profile book 2016 (Erfaniah: 2016) and

my interview with the head of center of gender

studies of Maulana Malik Ibrahim State Islamic

university when I did my preliminary research in

Malang and the gender profile book (Profil Data

gender dan Anak) for the year 2016 published by the

centre. According to the head of the centre,

Singosari sub-district is more appropriate location to

study the women’s reasons to demand a formal

divorce than Dampit. In her view, Dampit sub-

district is a home for female migrant workers and

most of divorce motives are economics. This area is

located in the Southern part of Malang district with

less fertile land, making the people cannot rely on

the land for their economic needs. Consequently, the

people from this area find alternatives for living by

working to the city centre of Malang or to foreign

countries as migrant workers. By contrast, Singosari

sub-district a typical sub-urban area with a variety of

economic incomes of the people. Some parts of this

area is also plantation areas, providing the

inhabitants with economic benefits. Also, this sub-

district is not well –known as a departing area for

migrant workers

, making this study is possible to

find different reasons for women to ask for a divorce

from their husbands such as husbands’ pious

conducts

. Therefore, I finally decided to conduct the

research in Singosari sub-district, which is

geographically easy to access and the information

from the head of the centre studies about this sub-

district’s position on divorce rank in Malang.

3 FINDINGS AND DISCUSSION

The narrations of piety and divorce will be

examined here to see how women’s conception of

piety motivates them to divorce. In what follows the

general patterns of women’s conception of piety and

their examination on their husbands’ conducts

encouraging them to ask for a judicial divorce will

be presented.

First, lack of husband’s knowledge on religious

commands affects their pious performance of the

head of the family. As an instance, the case of

divorce initiated by EN (52). She narrated her

divorce due to her husband’ less understanding of

religious knowledge, impacting on his daily

conducts as the head of the family. She argues that

her initiative to end her marriage is due to her

husband’s immoral conducts and she believes that

her husband’s lack of knowledge about Islam is the

main factor of his wrongdoings. Also, she puts an

emphasis on a husband’s foremost marital task in

marriage is educating the family members to

perform the religious commands by giving a good

example of his conducts, not providing the economic

Women’s Conception of Piety: A Reason to Divorce in Contemporary Malang

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needs of the family. She stated “To fulfil economic

need is a husband’s role, but it is permissible if he

cannot perform the task, but he must have a good

understanding about religious commands, and it will

lead him to avoid immoral acts”. In her case, EN

felt that economic needs of the family was both

spouses’ responsibility, but her husband must avoid

leaving the praying, gambling, and having

extramarital affairs. Since her husband committed

the acts, she decided to terminate her marriage

legally. However, EN mentions that her decision to

divorce due to this ground is not an immediate

decision. She keeps her marriage for years until she

comes into a conclusion that her husband cannot

change his conducts which she considers less pious

because the main problem is on his knowledge on

Islam, causing him not having a self-control of his

acts. As a result, he keeps doing the immoral acts.

For that reason, this woman requires a high-

understanding about Islam and its commands for a

man who wants to offer another marriage for her in

the next future.

EN’s understanding on piety refers to the concept

of piety in normative context in Islam. The concept

of piety refers to the concept of taqwā. Irsyadunnas

(2003) outlines two important aspects of piety in

Islam.

First, the term refers to a defensive action

from all the unlawful things outside ourselves

because etymologically it means to preserve, to

avoid, to cover, and to hide.

Second, it is interpreted

as an effort to keep Muslims away from the

punishment of Allah originated from the term

ittaqullah, meaning to fear Allah. The fear for Allah

helps Muslims to alert themselves to always perform

good conducts to avoid the punishment of Allah.

According to Irsyadunnas, a pious person is an

individual who maintains him/herself from the

punishment of Allah, he or she must have great

perspective and awareness of understanding about

what conducts (causes) can result in the penalty.

Therefore, it is deeply embedded in Muslims’

conducts and reflected in their everyday practices, a

condition translated by Irsyadunnas as a Muslim’s

self-control and described by Saba Mahmood

(2004), as “the state attainable”. In that context, the

case of EN is in line with both scholars definition of

piety mentioned above. Other women might

perceive their husbands less pious conducts in

different ways as the following divorce case.

To the second, less pious husband brings a

woman to perform less pious conduct in marriage.

The case of MJ (45) also indicates that piety is a

personal reason to end a marriage for a woman.

This woman, preferred to be a divorced woman

rather than to have less pious husband who never

performed five time-praying. At first, she could be

tolerant to her husband’s reluctance to pray.

However, she started to be disturbed when she

realized that her husband tried to make her not

praying like him. Since, praying is considered

crucial for MJ, she went to the court to initiate a

formal divorce with the addition of her husband’s

extramarital affair. According to MJ, if her husband

was pious and diligently pray, he would not have an

affair with another woman.

To some extent, MJ’s argumentation of her

husband’s less pious conducts is still in the context

of normative piety as suggested by Irsyadunnas,

defining piety as a defensive action from the

unlawful things. Therefore, MJ maintains that her

husband’s extramarital relationship with another

woman is a result of his avoidance of practicing the

religious commands such as performing the five-

time praying. According to MJ, her husband has no

self-control when he does not perform the rituals

demanded regularly by Islam. Her husband not only

avoiding himself from practicing the rituals of Islam,

but he also trying to make his wife (MJ) to do the

same thing with him. Consequently, MJ feels that

her husband makes her not performing her duty as a

Muslim. At the end, she believes that her marriage is

no longer important for her. In that account, MJ use

her husband’s less pious conducts as a reason for her

to end her marriage. However, this research make no

claim about her divorce ground registered at the

religious court. She might use different reason

before the court in order her divorce proposal is

granted by the religious court.

Similar to MJ’s case, the third divorce for piety

reason was petitioned by a young woman (LS) who

could not stand with her husband’s drunken habit.

Besides, he rarely prayed. LS was annoyed by her

husband’s habit because she could not perform her

praying due to her husband’s command to clean his

vomit whenever he was drunken. Sometimes LS

missed her praying when she need longer time to

clean the vomit. After one year of her marriage, she

decided to divorce. She stated that, she need a pious

husband to have a happy marriage and being pious is

one of a husband’s task in marriage. In her view, her

husband failed to perform his task to be a role model

of the family, then, it was unbeneficial for her to

stay in the marriage. It was her reason to be a

plaintiff of divorce.

The conception of the usage of piety in

preventing immoral conducts of a husband and

divorce cases as presented in divorce cases above is

in line with Wadud’s description of piety. Wadud

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(2006), rather using the term "self-control” like

Irsyadunnas, she defines piety as an “instinctive

motivation” because, in her point of view, it is a

“moral consciousness" in the trustee of Allah. With

this awareness, Muslims have the instinct to perform

pious conducts in public and domestic (private)

realms. She argues that piety is also a reflection of a

dynamic divine –human relationship because to

reach piety, Allah grants the freedom to act to

people, but Allah is the trustee of their acts, not

other people. The grant of the freedom in Islam is

recognized as an agency, which is defined by Wadud

as a responsibility. She emphasizes her conception

of agency as responsibility by stating: “agency,

human empowerment, is best described as

responsibility. We are responsible for the choices we

make at every juncture, and we will be held

accountable via the ultimate judgment for all of our

choices.” Her statement is premised upon the

reciprocal relationship between capacity and

responsibility; Muslims must be free to choose and

must be responsible for their conducts because all

choices have different consequences before Allah.

Further, she suggests that piety is a “moral

limitation” and a “moral sacrifice” manifesting in

personal and social conducts of Muslims. As a moral

consciousness under the trustee of Allah, Muslims’

conducts must conform to the commands of Allah.

In this point, inspired by Fazlur Rahman’s point of

view, Wadud perceives that all the religious acts

must be concurrent with the idea of the

establishment of justice in the social order stated in

the Qurān (see Fazlur: 1994).

Her notion of social justice leads her critics on

the social construction of women’s piety and men’s

piety, according to her, which is unfair and

oppressing for women. Although she admits that

"women’s oppression" is the western media’s

construction, she contends that women, in religious

realm, are not considered fully autonomous agents

because agency commonly associated to autonomy

and intentions, which are not the typical of religious

women (See Wadud: 2007, Burke: 2012, Sewell:

1992, Swiddler; 1986, Ahmed: 2010).

Women pious

agencies are considered the complementary to the

whole piety of the family. As a result, there is a

distinctive construction of manhood and

womanhood piety.

Manhood piety (father and son) reflects

unlimited power encouraging men to be protectors,

providers, and masters, which are manifest in the

idea of leadership. Their pieties cross the domestic

boundary and associate to public piety such as

involving in open debate in public or delivering a

sermon on Friday praying. By contrast, women’s

reflects a submission to the ultimate goal of family

well-being

(piety) and it ends in the domestic realm.

In that account, Wadud argues that women are in an

ambiguous situation to exert their pious agencies.

On the one hand, they are acknowledged as an

independent agent to perform piety before Allah,

their expressions of the piety are not fully

autonomous before the member of the family and

limited in domestic sphere on the other. Then, she

maintains that a gender jihad promoting gender

justice is necessary for both –men and women-

because they will be personally responsible for their

conducts or choices (conducts). It is argued that

women should be independent to express their

pieties based on the commands of Allah with their

moral consciousness, either in public or domestic

spheres. Women should be free to choose to

articulate and to express their piety because piety is

not practical guidance, but general principle of

Muslims’ conducts. Her of the concept of piety in

Islam reflects the idea of religion- in the perspective

of Sociology of culture- not as the prescription of

actions (Swiddler:1986), but it is as a set of models

and the various alternative actions (Sewell: 1992).

Further, she tends to shed an idea of the possibilities

for women to articulate and to express piety in

public sphere (i.e. engaging in public rituals),

described by feminist group as emancipatory or

women’s assimilation into social world with full

participation. However, there are some women who

may think their devotion to their family, is also their

conscious and independent choice to express and to

reach their piety. Hence, the expression of women’s

piety in marriage –either a social construction or

independent choice- is always contentious and

distinctive in articulation. This notion is applicable

to the following divorce case.

The Fourth divorce is on the base of husband’s

immoral conducts and his protecting his wife from

public activities. The case of UH (53) reveals that

one of women’s reasons to end her marriage is her

husband’s conducts that she considered immoral and

against the religious commands as well as his order

to UH to not join public activities. She said her

motive to divorce this way:

A husband should be religious. However, my

husband did not perform pious conducts that a

husband as the head of family should perform. He

was also, umm, his social life with his friends, he

drank (alcohol). I had demanded him (to stop), but

he did not listen to my demand. Also, he did not

allow me to join social or religious activities

outside the house although the activities were

Women’s Conception of Piety: A Reason to Divorce in Contemporary Malang

1151

conducted by religious organization. At first, I just

accepted all the situations and his order, but I felt

it was not fair for me. After years, I could not

stand with his habit. Then, I asked him to end our

marriage, but he rejected my proposal. Therefore,

I brought the case before the religious court. I

used that reason to sue him for divorce and the

court agreed, and he was also very

temperamental.

The quote indicates that husband pious conducts

are important for women to encourage them to

maintain the marriage. Furthermore, a woman like

UH wants her husband to give permission for her to

perform public piety by joining some activities

which are conducted by religious organizations. For

her, by joining the activities, she could develop her

personal potentials that can also contribute to her

religion and people surrounding her. However, her

husband had different perception from her. Besides,

her husband’s conducts were considered by UH not

proper to be the head of family. Hence, UH assesses

the typical of her husband and his conducts provide

no reasons for her to stay in her marriage. She

declares that after divorce she feels that she is

happier and free to do all the things that make her

more religious compared to her previous condition

when she is married with her ex-husband.

The last, a woman’s motivation to divorce is

due her husband’s violent act toward which is

considered as a result of a husband’s act against

religious command. SAK (57) is one of divorced

women who initiated a divorce after 27 years of

living in violent acts of her husband. She declares

that her motive to marry is to obey the religious

commands by obeying her parents to marry a man

that their parents choose for her. Consequently, he

expected to have a husband who is pious and is able

to lead her to the religious paths. After 27 years of

her marriage, she realized that her husband did a

violent acts during the whole period of the

27 years

and never taught her and her children any of

religious commands. She claims also that her

knowledge on religious commands are better that her

husband. For that reason, she argues that her

husband did not perform her sole provider task and

did the violent acts towards her. She narrated her

story this way:

“It is a family disgrace, but for all women out

there, I’m willing to share this. My husband did

violent acts for the whole life of my marriage.

He never provided me and my children with his

income. I am the one who is the sole provider of

my family. We fight for almost all of the time,

but he still asked me to provide him with a

sexual access. He never asked me and my

children to pray together with him. I maintained

my marriage until one day he accused me to

have an affair with my colleague and did a very

rude act toward me in public. Then, I started

thinking about it. I got nothing from this

marriage. I could accept the fact that I am the

sole provider of the family and I did it sincerely

because I want to get the bless from the God if I

am an obedient wife. Nevertheless, I should end

this violent acts. It should be enough now.”

The description of UH’s case reveal that a

woman marries because of her devotion to the

religious commands. Therefore, she expects that she

can gain a religious life after married. When she

feels she cannot obtain it, she might want to end her

marriage with the addition to her husband immoral

conducts, preventing her from being a pious woman.

Therefore, after 27 years, she finally gives up with

her marriage and chooses to divorce.

The divorces samples presented above indicate

that piety was interpreted as one of a husband’s

marital tasks, reflected in his daily conducts. Also, it

could be a motivating factor for the wife to obtain a

judicial divorce. In brief, piety becomes a private

matter for women providing them a personal

preference to conceptualize and to express piety and

womanhood either in domestic or public life.

Additionally, women’s access to religious education

and their entrance into faith-based organizations are

an opened access to be religious specialists and

active participants in interpretation or

reinterpretation of religious texts. The diverse

interpretation and expression of piety by women also

reflects the notion of Islam as a discursive tradition

that Asad notes: “Anyone working on the

Anthropology of Islam must be aware that there is

considerable diversity in the beliefs and practices of

Muslims.

Besides, Hefner reveals that one of

religious resurgence marks especially in

contemporary Asia is women’s participation in a

variety of religiosity. In that account, women start

defining piety by their own understanding, which is

influenced also by their contextual situations i.e.

religious knowledge, interests, environment, and so

forth (See Orit: 2008, Sherina: 2011, Ali: 2014,

Loimeire and Franke: 2016) .

4 CONCLUSION

In summary, as discussed at scholarly works

above and the research findings, piety is a set of

scheme of religiosity or religious conducts, which is

ICRI 2018 - International Conference Recent Innovation

1152

articulated and expressed differently by women

especially in marriage. Women’s articulation of

piety is much influenced by women’s contexts and

personal interests, which are also dynamic in terms

of forms and place (sphere) where the piety is

practiced. Also, women propose different reasons to

explain their choices of piety practices. Therefore,

with regard to my study on women and divorce in

the perspective of piety is an opened inquiry to ask,

whether they reflect piety for one possible critical

reason to initiate divorce or piety as goal to achieve

through divorce.

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