Social Media and Ruang Nyaman in Seeking Legality on Interfaith
Marriage
Rosdiana, Khamami Zada, Ummu Hana
Universitas Islam Negeri Syarif Hidayatullah Jakarta,Indonesia
Keywords: Legal Seeking, Ruang Nyaman, Interfaith Marriage, Social Media
Abstract: Interfaith marriage in Indonesia still retains a poignant social issue as Indonesian legal sphere could not
accommodate its existence. The effort to seek legality on interfaith marriage is often being done through social
media, creating a co-working space called Ruang Nyaman, a place to communicate, consult, and share
knowledge and experience for those who want to perform this marriage. This research will shed lights on the
importance and significance of social media usage, such as WhatsApp, Instagram, and Facebook, in
constructing the co-working space to seek legality in interfaith marriage. The study used empirical legal
research method by employing participatory observation to the informant seeking legality on interfaith
marriage in Jakarta. The study found that social media plays an important role in society on the consultation
about interfaith marriage to find the solution in navigating the poignant social issue arises from exercising the
marriage. This research has an implication on the opening of more spaces for the legal interfaith marriage
seekers in Indonesia.
1 INTRODUCTION
The phenomenon of interfaith marriage in Indonesia
cannot be separated from the religious pluralism found
in the society. Religious pluralism will enable the
interfaith marriage. Interfaith marriages are often seen
as part of identity formation. Damini Vyas said that
interfaith marriage is a part of religious identity
formation (Vyas, 2014), which shaped the social
attitude towards tolerance and community
inclusiveness (Gjuraj, 2013), so that the existence of
interfaith marriages is still widely questioned in
developing Countries(C,-Y.H. and Parker, 2017),
(Boucaud, 2018) faced by the community of Muslim-
Christian, Buddhist-Catholic, and many other
religious communities (Duy Hie, 2017), (Cigdem,
2015).
Interfaith marriage in Indonesia is still exist and
develop (Ansor, 2016), (Indrayanti, 2017). Noryamin
Aini (2008) found that at least 15 out of 1000 couples
are performing interfaith marriage in Yogyakarta.
That number increased into 18 out of 1000 in 1990,
and then decreased to 12 out of 1000 in 2000. The
person performing interfaith marriage coming from
Muslim community was only amounted to 6 out of
1000 cases while the non-Muslim community reached
50 out of 1000 cases. This finding shows that the
practice of interfaith marriage is dominated by the
non-Muslim community, reaching eight times of those
performed by the Muslim Community (Islam, 2014).
The data of interfaith marriage performed
nationally was shown by Harmoni Institution (2015)
that from 2005 until May 2015, there were at least 638
couples in Indonesia performing interfaith marriage
under the presiding watch Harmoni Mitra Madania
organization. From those numbers, interfaith marriage
was dominated by the couple having a religion of
Islam- Christianity (48%), Islam-Catholicism (42%),
and the 10% are the couples having a religion of
Islam-Hinduism, Islam-Buddhism, Islam-
Confucianism, Christianity-Buddhism, Christianity-
Hinduism, and Christianity-Confucianism.
Geographically, the interfaith marriage was
mainly performed in the Greater Jakarta area(20%),
Central Java(19%), Yogyakarta (15%), East Java
(14%), Bali (14%), South Sulawesi (10%), East
Kalimantan (6%), Sumatera (1%) (Nurcholis, 2015),
and East Nusa Tenggara (1%). These numbers show
that there is an increase on interfaith marriage every
year and the practice was not only performed in big
cities but spread all across Indonesia.
The problem is that interfaith marriage is not
recognized under the Law of the Republic of
Indonesia (Wahyuni, 2015). Even though Indonesia
Rosdiana, ., Zada, K. and Hana, U.
Social Media and Ruang Nyaman in Seeking Legality on Interfaith Marriage.
DOI: 10.5220/0009944824672470
In Proceedings of the 1st International Conference on Recent Innovations (ICRI 2018), pages 2467-2470
ISBN: 978-989-758-458-9
Copyright
c
 2020 by SCITEPRESS – Science and Technology Publications, Lda. All rights reserved
2467

has the Law on Marriage (Law Number 1 of 1974),
said law did not accommodate legal policy in
interfaith marriage. Thus, the aspirant for interfaith
marriage seeks out legality so that their marriage can
be recognized by the government. They seek out
institution or organization that can help them seek
legality for their marriage by using social media
(Valunzuela, 2014)–(Bedner, 2010). The
advancement of information technology has helped
them build legitimate construction in legal interfaith
marriage seeking.
2 INTERFAITH MARRIAGE
CONSULTATION
Generally, the practice of performing interfaith
marriage in Indonesia can be done in three options.
First, the couple applied for the court stipulation
beforehand and then to register the marriage to the
Civil Registration Office. According to Dahwal
(Dahwal, 2016), since the court stipulates the
interfaith marriage and the marriage has been
registered to the Civil Registration Office, then the
marriage is considered legal by taking the legal and
jurisprudence vacuum regarding interfaith marriage
into consideration. Second, the marriage was done
according to one of the couple’s religion.
Wahyuni argued that one of the best practices in
interfaith marriage is to resign oneself by converting
their religion into that of their couple, whether it is just
for a temporary measure or to truly convert themselves
wholly (Wahyuni, 2015). Third, the couple performs
the interfaith marriage abroad. This way, the marriage
was performed under the law valid in the designated
country and they can get the certificate of marriage
from the country in which the marriage was
performed. Afterwards, the marriage can be registered
in the Civil Registration Office after they got back to
Indonesia (Dahwal, 2016).
The three options was done because the Law of
Marriage cannot accommodate interfaith marriage
(Lukito, 2008). Moreover, judicial review to the
Constitutional Court was rejected since the
Constitutional Court asserted that a marriage can only
be registered and the certificate of marriage can be
legally made after the marriage was deemed valid in
front of the religion (Setiyanto, 2016), (Syams, 2016).
The limitation on interfaith marriage in Indonesia
caused the aspirant to seek new ways in performing
interfaith marriage.
The effort to seek the solution to interfaith
marriage was realized socio-culturally through the
establishment of public space that is more appreciative
towards the practice (L.A, 2015). The use of social
media in establishing public space was done to bring
together the legal seekers in order to share and seek
the solution to perform interfaith marriage through a
co-working space called Ke:kini. This shows that the
prohibition on performing interfaith marriage could
not stop the effort of many people to perform the
marriage.
In Ke:kini, the seekers try to search for solutions
by discussing and doing a consultation with experts to
find the answer on the legality of interfaith marriage.
Ke:kini was born from the spirit and idea to share and
support activities in order to build a better Indonesia.
Ke:kini started from the importance of nurturing
sustainable resources that can support humanity acts.
Ke:kini was hoped to be one of the solutions to the
high number of needs for many workers in different
fields to interact, exchange ideas, and collaborate in a
public space that is friendly for all. The meeting of
between individuals and communities in Ke:kini can
become a push for organic changes— where each
person can take parts and contributes in their own way.
Ke:kiniis affiliated to Indonesia untuk
Kemanusiaan (IKa), an institution of humanity that
support the realization of social justice and peace.
Ke:kiniand IKa have the same vision to contribute to
the changes in order to build a better Indonesia. One
of monthly program held by Ke:kini every third
Wednesday is called Ruang (Ny)aman, the result of a
cooperation with Magdalene and The O Project. This
program is a place for women to discuss comfortably
about any issue, from their relationship, career, to
sexual abuse and financial situation. First held in
March 30, 2017, Ruang (Ny)aman also aims to
become a movement to empower women. Located at
the center of the city in JalanCikini Raya No.45,
CikiniMenteng, Central Jakarta, this co-working
space is easy to access with a stategic location.
Ke:kiniwas dounded by Ratna Fitriani, Kamala
Chandrakirana, Ukke R. Kosasih, and Anik Wusari.
They are humanity workers in many government
programs with the specialization in social inclusion in
the education, health, social welfare, and basic
infrastructure sectore. The managerial team for
Ke:kini consist of Felencia Hutabarat, Azizah
Hafsaristaff, Sriyoto, and Narariya. Information about
Ke:kinican be accessed through their website
[e-mail],whatsapp in 085773616182,
facebook in kekiniruangBersama, Instagram at
@komunitaskekini or by subscribing to their
Newsletter Ke:kini. People can attend Ruang Nyaman
program by registering via Bit.ly/ruangnyaman14 and
filling the form by completing their identity such as their
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fullname, email address, profession, age, and
answering the question on where do they find out
about the program. The form then can be submitted
with a donation fee of 50k Rupiahs that will be used
to provide tea and snacks.
In one of the Ruang Nyaman sessions, Ke:kini
invites the expert on interfaith marriage, Ahmad
Nurcholish, an activist for Indonesian Conference on
Religion and Peace (ICRP) that has been counseled
more than 3000 interfaith couples can has been
succesfully facilitated 827 interfaith couples to marry
legally in Indonesia. ICRP is an independent non-
sectarian non-profitNGO.
In this session held within the co-working space
Ke:kini, there were around 70 participants having a
potential husband or wife with different religion. Here,
they can express their problem and the obstacle faced
in their journey to get married legally. Their struggles
and obstacles ranging from facing their own family
such as unapproving parents, the difficulties in
obtaining legal documents for registration, the
requirements for their profession, and the difficulties
faced by a Hindu person to perform interfaith marriage
because there were so little of pedande (Hindu cleric)
who can agree to preside an interfaith marriage. The
70 participants of Ruang Nyaman are registered using
online registration with their age ranging from 20 to
30 years old.
In this consultation held within RuangNyaman,
Ahmad Nurcholis answered all the problems
presented by the participant regarding the interfaith
marriage. Moreover, to consult further, the participant
can contact him or come to the ICRP office to do a
direct consultation. Ahmad Nurcholis started his story
by sharing his experience on performing interfaith marriage
and that he is living happily now. Ahmad Nurcholis
describe how the religion in Indonesia viewed
interfaith marriage, how the Law regulate the
marriage, and the effort to seek legal interfaith
marriage and to do approaches to the family member.
In the Questions &Answers session, moderator
opens the floor so that the participant can ask about
their questions. They raise their hands so that they can
get a turn to express their problems regarding
interfaith marriage. For example Rika (not her real
name), a women Muslim that has been in a
relationship for 8 years with a Hindu guy working as
a member of the Indonesian National Force, shared
her story about the problems they faced to perform
marriage. Rika’s decision was not supported by her
family. She asked for letter of statement of marriage
to the administrative body, but she was rejected
because there was no support from her family. She
recalled the problems and expresses it to the expert
while shedding a tear, hoping for a solution so that she
can legally marry and registered as a husband and wife
whether by performing the marriage abroad or by
using other means.
However, the expert stated that it is difficult for a
Hindu guy to perform interfaith marriage because
unlike in Christianity or Catholicism, there are no
dispensations for interfaith marriage because the
pedande is not eager in presiding interfaith marriage.
Meanwhile, to perform interfaith marriage under the
Islamic rule, the non-Muslim spouse needs to convert
themselves to become a Muslim.
Another example is Toni (not his real name), a
Catholic guy who has a women Muslim future wife.
Toni asked whether he need to marry twice, both
under Catholic and Islamic rule. The expert says that
for interfaith marriage between a Muslim and a
Catholic, it can be done in two ways, by marrying
under Islamic rule outside of Religion Affairs Office
and by the blessing of the Church. According to the
expert, it is possible to do interfaith marriage in
Catholicism. However, to obtain legal documents,
they need to apply to the Office of Population and
Civil Registration and there needs to be an approval
from the parents, even though in the Law of Marriage,
the future bride and groom that already reach the age
of 25 didn’t need to obtain the approval from their
parents. However, since this is related to interfaith
marriage, the Office required the approval to prevent
unwanted consequences such as marriage
cancellation.
Rio (not his real name) a Christian guy with a
women Muslim future spouse asked about how to
obtain legality for their marriage without converting
religion. The expert explains that for Catholicism and
Christianity there is little problem in performing
interfaith marriage because the religion has a
dispensation to do interfaith marriage.
Sarah (not her real name) asked about whether the
interfaith marriage equals to zina or fornication.
Ahmad Nurcholis explained that interfaith marriage
has a normative legal basis, both in the Holy Scripture
and in the Law. The expert cite Quran verses Surah
Al- Baqarah: 221 and Surah Al Maidah: 5 along with
the Law of Marriage No. 1 of 1974 Art.2 (1) stating
that the marriage is valid if done based on the rule in
each of their religion or faith.
Ruang Nyaman as a form of interfaith marriage
consultation facilitated by Ke:kiniis one of the
alternative in seeking legality on interfaith marriage in
Jakarta. This is a space that holds alternative offers to
solve the deadlock situation found in interfaith
marriage in Indonesia. Ke:kini used social media to
bring together the aspirant of interfaith marriage with
Social Media and Ruang Nyaman in Seeking Legality on Interfaith Marriage
2469

their restlessness in hope of solving their problem and
to help them perform a legal marriage.
The government policy that prohibits interfaith
marriage in the form of regulation and the reluctance
of the officer to register interfaith marriage in many
areas has moved many couple to seek alternative
solution. The limited knowledge possessed by the
couple has been facilitated by Ke;kini in Ruang
Nyaman so that they can consider alternative option to
perform legal marriage.
There are three options to perform interfaith
marriage, such as: (1) Applying for the court
stipulation beforehand and then to register the
marriage to the Civil Registration Office; (2) The
marriage was done according to one of the couple’s
religion, and; (3) The couple performs the interfaith
marriage abroad. Through social media and Ruang
Nyaman, the co-working space Ke:kini has tried to
provide a solution to the problem related to interfaith
marriage faced by many couples in Indonesia.
3 CONCLUSION
Interfaith marriage has faced difficulty in obtaining
legality post Constitutional Court decree. The result is
that the officer’s reluctance of the Civil Registration
Office to register interfaith marriage because it was
considered as contradictory to the rule of law and
religious teaching. Meanwhile many future spouses
with different religion didn’t have sufficient
knowledge on how to perform their marriage.
Ruang Nyaman that was facilitated by Ke;kiniis
there to provide knowledge for the couples aspiring to
perform interfaith marriage. By using social media
such as whatsApp, facebook, and twitter, Ke:kini
bring them together to attend the Ruang Nyaman
program to share their problems related to interfaith
marriage. In this forum, Ke:kini tried to find the
solution in seeking the legality of interfaith marriage.
Here, social media has a significant role in bringing
together couples with interfaith problems to come and
engage in positive discussion in this co-working space
of Ke:kini.
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