of anything, and cannot be sick. This is unfair for
women.
Then, where is the man? Above the
crown of a woman. Women must not
show the pain after giving birth! Do
not rest before a man falls asleep! (p.
236)
The quote above is a situation that occurs in
patriarchal societies where women become objects,
and not subjects in the family. Therefore, women are
very disadvantaged because of their gender. The
female body continues to be an object, both objects
to be made "holy" and to be made "sexy".
Patriarchal culture prioritizes male interests, elevates
masculine values, and fosters women's interests, and
undermines feminine values. The implication is the
low appreciation of domestic work.
Love makes blind women. She doesn't care about
the opinions of others. When love is lost due to
suffering caused by the man she loves, then she
realizes that she has been tortured. Saring husband's
betrayal her for other woman who works in the
Salon near their house. Since they get married,
Barla, her husband’s did not give his wife money,
even though as a guide he often brought many
foreign tourists. Saring and her two sons, I Wayan
Pasek and I Made Pasek had to endure hunger
because they did not have money to buy food. The
ideal life that Saring dreamed was lost, and had to
face the bitter reality.
Patriarchy is a social structure, and ideology or
system of belief that men have superiority. Every
social system or historical period raises its own
variations regarding how patriots work, and how
different social and cultural practices. But the
principle remains the same, that men control most of
their income and social, economic and political
institutions (Bhasin in Widyastuti, 2015: 4). The role
of women as wives, and also mothers who take care
of homes, raise and care for children, and are hard
work. Here is the opinion of Elshtain (in Tong,
2008: 54) that Mothering is not an equal "role" with
being an administrative employee, a scientist, or an
air force member. Mothering is an activity that is
complex, rich, ambivalent, fun, which is a
biological, natural, social, symbolic, and emotional
thing. The following is a quote about the mothering
that Ida Ayu experienced which caused a contra in
her.
"Now I know. Are you worried about
being pregnant? Because you know a
lot about various diseases that attack
the womb. If you just read, and read
on, without ever trying how it feels to
be pregnant, giving birth, breastfeeding,
raising children, you won't feel how
extraordinary and the torment of being
a mother, how pleasurable and painful it is. Sleep
becomes a luxury. (p. 66-67)
Patriarchal society thinks that women who are
pregnant their children, are the most appropriate
figure to care for and raise them. Myths about
motherhood state that all children need their
mothers. Marriage is united men and women in
bonds that make them unite in the home. The
differences from one another eventually merge into
one. The life journey makes marriage a story that
can end in happiness or sadness.
For Rimpig, at first her marriage to Pasung
was initially sprinkled with hundreds of
love. Thousands of dreams. Millions of
wishes. In fact, the man he married was a lazy
man. He works only drinking alcohol at the
edge of the village. Always go home
at night. Meanwhile, Rimpig, a simple
village woman who does not have any
skills, only cooking, cutting firewood,
and planting several pieces of
vegetables for daily food. She never
earn money. (p. 116)
Happiness Rimpig had never felt during her
marriage. She had a dream of a happy marriage and
an established family, but she never achieved it. But
instead, she experienced domestic violence. Her
body was always battered beaten by her husband.
Komnas Perempuan (2001) states that violence
against women is all acts of violence committed
against women resulting in physical, sexual and
psychological harm and suffering to women.
Women as victims tend to be passive, and harbor
their inner self.
Rimpig's body was always battered.
The man never knew how tired it was
to take care of children. If his lust
was high, Pasung did not hesitate to
drag Rimpig, lay her thin body on the
ground in the kitchen, forcefully entered his body
roughly. (p. 116)
Violence committed by a husband against his
wife can be triggered by social conditions. Berger
(1990) suggested that individual behavior is actually
a social product, where values and norms in society
contribute to individual behavior, meaning that if the
value of society is patriarchal, men become superior,