Stability of the Culture of Family Relations in Civil Society

R. E. Kholikova

, M. R. Dekhkanov

, M. N. Inatov

and M. M. Rokhataliyev

Tashkent State Technical University, Tashkent, Uzbekistan

Keywords: Affection, Love, Citizen, Generation, Right, Blessing, Maturity, Heir, Kindness, Patience, Tolerance,

Modesty.

Abstract: The topic of this article is one of the most pressing issues of revival and renewal in the era of globalization.

Because it is explained that during the period of building any democratic and civil society, morals, mutual

attitude of parents and love for children are important factors in the stability of the family.

1 INTRODUCTION

In the current process of building a legal, democratic

and civil society in our country during the period of

revival and renewal, the stability of the culture of

family relations, morals, manners, mutual attitude of

parents and love for their children are of great

importance. After all, building a legal, democratic,

civil society in Uzbekistan, where the current renewal

is developing, is in the hands of future youth and

righteous children. The young generation receives

primary education and matures in the family. "Every

sane person understands that as long as there is life in

this bright world, there is a family. As long as there is

a family, there is a priceless blessing called a child.

As long as there is a child, people always live with

good dreams and aspirations" (Karimov I. A. Great

spirituality– invincible power. -Tashkent: Manaviyat,

2008). Therefore, children are a blessing, parents'

responsibility in their upbringing is extremely high.

At the same time, it is important that children please

their parents. "Whoever pleases his parents, he will be

blessed with Tubo (a tree in Paradise) and Allah will

prolong his life" Muhammad ibn Ismoil Al-Bukhari.

Al-adab Al-mufrad. (Hadiths about behaviours),

2008). In the family, the mother is considered a

blessing, she is the beginning of life, the main creator

of the child's spirituality. There is no more

responsible task for parents than the duty of raising

their children. And the child is the heir of today, the

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future of independent Uzbekistan. In the family, the

mother endures any difficulties for her children, she

overcomes them with patience. It is not easy to

imagine how difficult it is to raise a mature person

from a piece of meat, to bring him to maturity.

Mothers are busy raising their children day and night

and sometimes forget about themselves. A woman,

first of all, shows kindness to her child. It is the sacred

duty of children to please mothers.

It is not for nothing that in the decrees and laws

adopted in our republic, great attention is paid to the

issue of women and their appreciation. A lot of work

has been done in this regard. When we talk about

women, first of all, we need to recognize that a

woman is a teacher who ensures the eternity of life,

continuity of generations, preserves our sacred

traditions, and at the same time influences the future

generations to become human beings. The great poet

Alisher Navoi in his work "Hayrat-ul-Abror" taught

how important father and mother are for a person and

taught that as "one is the moon, the other is the sun."

In "Arbain" he emphasizes that the mother's value

should be kept very high and writes as follows:

“Garden of paradise is under the feet of mothers, if

you wish, be the soil of mother's feet” 3.(Alisher

Navoi. Nazmul-Javohir, Arbain. -Tashkent:

Publishing of Gafur Gulam. 1968). A woman's ideal

life, in which moral qualities are great, and she avoids

any sensual vices. A woman's modesty is an ornament

of human life. A woman with modesty, faith, and a

Kholikova, R., Dekhkanov, M., Inatov, M. and Rokhataliyev, M.

Stability of the Culture of Family Relations in Civil Society.

DOI: 10.5220/0012929500003882

Paper published under CC license (CC BY-NC-ND 4.0)

In Proceedings of the 2nd Pamir Transboundary Conference for Sustainable Societies (PAMIR-2 2023), pages 837-841

ISBN: 978-989-758-723-8

837

beautiful character is the spiritual symbol of the

family. Chastity is in faith, and faith leads to heaven.

Chastity is a pure flower that adorns the flower of

wisdom, which is manifested in the heart, feelings

and appearance of a woman, increases chastity and

femininity. According to the narration, "There was a

woman among those sentenced to death. When they

were being taken to death, she asked to be given a

thread and a needle on the way. What are you going

to do with a rope?" the executioners asked.

2 THEORETICAL FRAMEWORK

"There is a stitch near my knee. Let me sew it up,"

said the woman. - After all, you will die now! said the

guards. - I am a woman, save my shame. Even if I'm

going to die, I have to appear like a woman in front of

the people " [4], - said the woman.

A well-bred woman is the honour of the family,

the well-being of her husband, the love of her

children, the precious jewel of people, the prosperity

of the house. After all, she understands the family

members, she works calmly. She endures the

bitterness of the family and lives with love and trust.

Our people consider such women as well-bred and

loyal. They are valued with respect. It is not for

nothing that men say that women should be treated

like their biological sisters. The concepts of "family"

and "woman" cannot be imagined separately from

each other. The life of society cannot be imagined

without women. It is a woman who makes a perfect

family. An honourable woman is also a force that

brings blessings to the society and the family. Women

were likened to angels in the East. Mothers live in

society following our national, Islamic values and

traditions, and raise children. She teaches them the

secrets of life. This is the main bud of a child's

spirituality. A mother's love does not end when a

child stands on its own feet, but lasts a lifetime.

Fakhr-ul-Banot Sibgatullah's daughter says: "It is

known that if a woman is a spendthrift in her

administration, she will offend her husband, and she

will suffer hardships. Even when the husband is a

spendthrift, the wife should learn how to treat him

well, plan gifts and other things, and not leave things

behind. the place should be locked " (Fakhr-ul-Banot

Sibgatulloh kizi, 1993). In fact, a good, intelligent

wife, apart from her children, also brings up her

husband with her upbringing, honesty, and

livelihood. Since a man is the head of the family, he

is more likely to be at work. A healthy spiritual

environment in the family is mainly created by

women. This idea is also mentioned in hadiths:

"Unhappiness is in the wife, house and horse"

(Muhammad ibn Ismoil Al-Bukhari. Al-adab Al-

mufrad. (Hadiths about behaviours), 2008), is called.

For this reason, there is a wise saying among the

people: "A good wife is happiness and gold". A

mother is incomparable and unique in terms of her

love, beauty, and spiritual strength. As the sages say,

in the matter of generosity, even the sun is powerless

in front of a mother's kindness. The beauty of

morning and spring cannot be compared with the

kindness of a mother. After all, there is no other

person in the world more loyal and kinder than a

mother. Respect and love for mother is formed by

maternal love. A child owes his life to his mother. But

this debt cannot be broken. Their education has a

social content.

3 METHODOLOGY

Mother's love is reflected not only in the image of a

child, but also in the development of society. A

mature spiritual mother raises a physically healthy

and spiritually mature person. A mother's love is

endless, selfless and incomparable. A mother may

forget herself in difficult times, but she never forgets

her child. The folk saying "Even when the world is

narrow, a mother's love is wide" is a great wisdom

related to the deep knowledge of the inner world of

women. Comparing a mother to a gardener represents

the meaning of life. Just as a gardener care for fruit

trees day and night, so does a mother nurture her

child. He glorifies the human personality and his

qualities, considers him the highest among the

creatures on earth. As written, in the hadith - "A sweet

word is charity" (Muhammad ibn Ismoil Al-Bukhari.

Al-adab Al-mufrad. (Hadiths about behaviours),

2008).

Women who lack this quality do not deserve the

honourable name of mother. Some women sometimes

cannot fully imagine the qualities of a great mother.

They do not consider the stability of the family, its

harmony and the upbringing of children as a task

assigned by the society, a sacred duty. Such mothers

are not able to give good education to their children

and appreciate family stability. According to

scientists, "The level of lifestyle of each family is

directly related to the degree to which a couple,

especially a woman, has formed ideas about family

life, its essence, and the spiritual environment in it."

(Karimova V, 2008), we agree with their opinion.

All children raised in the bosom of conscientious,

believing mothers, brought up listening to their

lullabies, are precious. Every mother approaches her

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children the same, despite how many are them: The

duty and value of motherhood have been clearly

shown by scientists and virtues in their works. Mother

is a true educator, healer, genius, generous and

prayerful. In the family environment, one of the

children can be beautiful, one is ugly, one is

capricious, one is gentle and obedient. But for

mothers, they are all one. Only mothers can deeply

feel such spiritual wealth. A mother knows a mother's

heart.

This duty consists of a combination of both

natural and social-spiritual factors. The great qualities

of mothers are clearly visible in Eastern women. In

the Eastern family, the mother is distinguished by her

honesty, modesty, chastity, honour, understanding of

livelihood, kindness to her children, and loyalty to her

husband. In this regard, national and religious

traditions and values are deeply embedded in the

spiritual world of Uzbek women. The Uzbek families

adore children. As scientists say, "Each happy bride

should know our values, traditions, the legacy left by

our fathers and mothers, follow the teachings, and

teach others what they know." (Hidoyatkhujayev T.

Edify for girls, 2000). There is a saying in Uzbeks,

"Marry a girl after seeing her mother." If the mother

is smart and happy, this family can be stable and

harmonious and flourish. But if the mother is

unchaste, shameless, careless, the situation in the

family will be difficult. According to Sharia, it is

considered a high moral virtue for a woman not to

show her ornaments to other men, not to flaunt her

beauty to others, to have a good relationship with her

husband, to greet him with respect, to be considerate,

honest and imaginative. So, mothers must be

thoughtful and imaginative. Sincere is a divine virtue

that protects people from bad words and bad deeds.

Because Rasulullah (s.a.w.) said, "Modesty does not

come without goodness (that is, where there is

modesty, there is goodness)"(Muhammad ibn Ismoil

Al-Bukhari. Al-adab Al-mufrad. (Hadiths about

behaviours), 2008).

4 RESULTS

In Shariat, it is a meritorious deed for a wife to have

a good relationship with her husband's relatives and

not to refuse his husband's word behind.

The main thing in building a family is not to take

and raise a bad wife, but to be able to find an honest,

intelligent, neat, clean partner who can be a faithful

life partner. Finding a bride-to-be on the street and

bringing her home lightly without asking about her

lineage does not correspond to the criteria of our

national and Islamic spirituality.

In Islam, the family is considered sacred and

annulment of marriage is not allowed as much as

possible. Even some "divorce" events are not taken

into account in Sharia. For example, if a man says to

his wife, "Insha'Allah, you are divorced", divorce is

not valid. Because God does not approve of divorce,

even a vain divorce brings the wrath of God. Family

is a sacred unit, both men and women should treat it

seriously. As for a woman, of course, she also needs

external beauty. But intelligence, morals, and

manners should be the priority in a woman's psyche.

Then there will be fewer divorces.

In the Eastern family, a woman does not try to

show force to her husband. Of course, this does not

mean that a woman should not have her own opinion,

obey her husband's word, or obey his whims and

unjust actions. For the happiness of the family, if

everything is done in consultation with the husband,

the life of the family will be prosperous.

It is not an obligation, but a duty for the husband

to be the leader in the family, and for the wife to

recognize that the husband is the head. High human

spirituality also lies on the belong of this duty. A

woman's knowledge of her value is evident in her

attitude towards her husband. A woman's dress,

behaviour, manners, and make-up must be done in

order to look beautiful to her husband. If a woman

likes what her husband likes, and if she doesn't like

what she doesn't like, such a woman is considered to

have reached spiritual maturity. Hazrat Uthman

narrates: "If a wife hurts her husband with her tongue,

Allah Almighty will curse her and all the angels and

human beings created by God will curse her." [8].

In the family, the hard work, patience, frugality,

and livelihood of women ensure the stability of the

family. Our forefathers said, "A good wife makes

vinegar rich, a bad wife makes honey vinegar. A good

wife converts slave into minister, a bad wife converts

a minister into angry." In the Holy Qur'an: "(O,

Muhammad). Say to My believing servants: Fear

your Lord! For those who have done good deeds in

this world, there is a beautiful paradise. God's Land is

vast. Indeed, those who persevere (in the Hereafter)

will be rewarded incalculably." There is a great truth

in these words. Rasulullah (s.a.w.) said: "The house

of a Muslim is a piece of the Garden of Paradise."

A good, intelligent mother makes the family a

garden of paradise and takes care of her children like

flowers. A woman is respected in the society and

family, not because of her appearance, but because of

her beautiful demeanour and good morals. Family life

is not only about pleasure. In marriage, there are hard

Stability of the Culture of Family Relations in Civil Society

839

times as well as sweet times. It is important for a

woman not to forget her motherly responsibility in

any situation in the family, to live her life without

giving in to life and ornaments. Family’s problem

also make a woman to perfect one. Otherwise, the

situation of the family will be tense and aggravated.

Women who are breadwinners in the family always

put on the throne the things that will be needed for

tomorrow. Marrying a boy and giving birth to a girl

also requires huge expenses.

The main task of a mother in a family is to raise

her daughter to be a good person, clean, kind, moral,

polite, and a housewife. In Uzbeks, mothers educate

their daughters by teaching them the secrets of life

from a young age. They are taught national customs

and complexities of life from a young age. After all,

girls should know the responsibilities of family life

before starting a family.

It is a great happiness to marry a virtuous woman

when starting a family. According to folk proverbs, a

woman is a man's ornament. A woman's respect for

her husband is the reason for family harmony. But a

woman who disdains her husband and says she is

superior to him disturbs the peace of the family.

Therefore, the trust, loyalty, respect, in a word,

fidelity of a woman and a man to each other in family

life is of great social and educational importance. This

attitude is also necessary for raising children. It is

stated in the Family Code of the Republic of

Uzbekistan: "When exercising parental rights, parents

have no right to harm their children's physical and

mental health and moral maturity.

5 DISCUSSION

The methods of raising children should be free from

contempt, cruelty, rudeness, degrading treatment of

human dignity, abuse or exploitation of children. In

the Uzbek family, parents rely on each other to raise

their children. In Uzbek families, there is a great

philosophical wisdom that mothers should teach their

daughters from a young age: "compromise with

others". The values that are the basis of family

relations cannot be forgotten. According to scientists,

a child is mainly brought up in a family environment

and is formed as a person. Education is the most

important pillar of life. It is necessary to educate

every young person in such a way that he can rise to

the highest level by first reading well and then by

learning to write. In this regard, national and Islamic

traditions and values should be passed from

generation to generation as a great heritage, and

should remain an educational school for children.

Obtaining the consent of the mother is more

important and preferable than seeking the crown of

life for the child. Every delight and pleasure of life is

worth nothing in front of mother's love and mother's

embrace. Intelligent children know such unique

qualities of mothers. "Indeed, it is worth praising

mothers as much as possible. Because she is the one

who is able to sacrifice herself for her child, for her

nation, for her religious beliefs and faith! Words

cannot describe the love, power, and patience of

mothers"(Phazil Kari Yasin ugli., 2000).

It would not be wrong to say that the son's respect

for his mother in the family environment forms the

spiritual core of the relationship that is formed in his

heart towards his future partner. A child who does not

respect his mother will not be able to respect his

spouse. A woman gets spiritual satisfaction when she

feels that her husband has helped her in what she

needs to do. This satisfaction is one of the main

factors of a woman's health and good mood. Helping

women and trying to ease their burden is one of the

ancient traditions of the Uzbek nation. When women

carry a heavy load, men take it from their hands, boys

dig the ground, and girls water the plants, which is a

manifestation of moral and moral culture and sense of

duty.

During the Mustabid regime, women were

declared to have equal rights with men. But this

equality was a weakness inherent in women, a

complete denial of their place and duty in the family.

In the family, the kindness, honesty, and integrity

of the mother towards the children is the reputation of

her husband, her children, and the entire Uzbek

people.

It is also an important moral virtue for women to

pay attention to themselves in the family. In order to

look good to her husband and be an example to her

children, if a woman adorns herself modestly within

the framework of morals, manners, and attitude, then

this is certainly considered spiritual beauty.

If the mother is happy in the family, this is also a

sign of family joy, happiness and harmony. As the

wise say, mother's laughter is the laughter of the

whole household. An example of mother's love is the

source of spirituality, it is a great feeling that is passed

from generation to generation. Mother's love, loyalty,

care, modesty, consistency are also moral virtues

formed in the process of upbringing in the family.

There is a wise saying in our nation: "Do not seek

the crown of honour, seek the approval of your

mother." According to the hadith, a man came to

Rasulullah (s.a.w.) and said: "Oh, Rasulullah, who

has the right to treat me well?" asked, Mr. Rasulullah

said: "Your mother!" He asked, "Who else?" Mr.

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Rasulullah said: "Your mother!" He said, "Who

else?" The Messenger of God (this time) replied:

"Your father!" (Muhammad ibn Ismoil Al-Bukhari.

Al-adab Al-mufrad. (Hadiths about behaviours),

2008).

6 CONCLUSION.

So, replacing respect for parents has always been

glorified in national, Islamic and universal values. In

the conditions of independence, special attention was

paid to this issue, the legal bases of honouring parents

and assistance in case of exhaustion were developed,

and it was expressed in special laws, in particular, in

the Family Codex.

Sages did not say for nothing that a child's respect

for parents is the first basis of morality. This is not a

family-specific virtue, but a duty common to all

families and children. In the culture of family

relationships, only a person who respects his parents

can respect other people. Such traditions are inherited

from our ancestors. According to the narration,

"Hakim Termizi's two students decided to travel with

a scholar friend for the purpose of learning. He had a

mother. He said: "Oh, my dear son, I am alone, weak

and debilitated, you are my only support, to whom do

you want to leave me?" From these words of the

mother, fire fell into the heart of the boy and he left

the trip. As Hakim Termizi said, "I got to this state

because of my mother's approval" (Omonturdiyev

Jabbor, 2000). These words convey how important

parental consent is.

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